I was so worried before Theo came that I wouldn't be able to love him like I love Gavin. But as soon as Theo was born I felt the same emotions towards him that I felt towards Gavin. This time around I think I'm trying to cherish his tiny baby self instead of waiting for the next phase to hurry up and get here already. I think I wished away most of my time with Gavin and now I realize that I'm never going to get that back. It wasn't until Theo was born that I understood that crazy desire to have a newborn because I want another one already. Well, I want one to hold and to give back to his parents when he cries, needs feeding, needs a diaper change or I just want to stand up and walk around.
It all just goes by so fast. Theo's body is already uncurling when I hold him on my chest and his cute little sheep sounds are being replaced by cute coos, goos and aahs.
As much as I miss his little newborn self I am loving the developing chunky monkey in all of his fat baby glory. And the smiles. Oh, the smiles What is it about the baby smile when they look up and to the corner of their eyes with that wide open toothless smile while wiggling their whole body side to side? It melts my heart. It is almost like Kea's happy dog dance but way cuter, of course. I sense he will be upping the cute factor any day now with a laugh or giggle. I can't wait. OK, I just said I shouldn't wish this stuff away so I can wait and I will wait. It's not like I have any choice in the matter except to live in the moment and to try and savor this fleeting time.
Theo was a rockstar sleeper but the last couple of nights he has been waking every two hours. I'm not a fan of this reversal of fortune. Hopefully it is a short lived phase. If he could go back to being a 'good' sleeper by February 1st that would be great since that is my first day solo with the boys in the mornings. I gave our helper notice at the beginning of the month that we wouldn't be needing her on a regular basis after January. I figure sooner or later I would need to do this on my own. And wouldn't you know it, it is easier to do when you are well rested. Now I need to find someone to come out just twice a week so I can run errands and get out of the house without carting a circus with me.
Leaving the house seems like it would be exponentially harder with two kids than one but I haven't found that to be the case. It is much harder to be sure but it's not so daunting that I never venture out with both boys in tow. My guess is that it will get more difficult as Theo gets older and less content to just sleep in his car seat. When he outgrows his infant bucket seat (sometime this summer) outtings will surely be more cumbersome. Having said all of that I realized I haven't taken both boys out of the house for long periods of time that inevitably lead to diaper changes.
I remember the horrors of trying to find a place to change Gavin and a place for me to use the bathroom. Trying to hover over a toilet while trying to keep your on the go crawler off the floor - or at the very least helping him stand so he doesn't touch anything with his hands... Can you get PTSD from such events? Now, when Theo enters that phase I'm going to have a 2 1/2 year old to contend with as well. I guess we will just not be able to go anywhere where a handicap bathroom stall is not available.
How do parents go anywhere with a potty training tyke? Oy vey. New territory to be discovered.
Going out would be so much easier if I could just leave a diaper bag in the car all ready to go. But nooooo - in my neighborhood leaving anything in your car is asking for someone to break in. Heck - cars get broken into when there is nothing in it. The jerky theives break the window and go through the glove box. If only we had a real trunk it would be so much easier. Or a minivan. I hear they have lots of storage compartments. It would be so great to just have a stash of clothes, diapers, bibs, wipes, snacks and sippy cups in the car. I feel like my next move for carting around all of the goods needed for a toddler and an infant - since there is virtually no overlap in supplies needed save for a changing pad and wipes - is a move to a diaper carry-on. Seriously, people. It takes so much gear to leave the house for anything more than a trip to the grocery store.
Gavin is now in need of in car entertainment so we now have a stash of toy cars for the car. As soon as we open the door on his side to put him in he lunges for the toys. The toys become a bribing tool to get him to sit still until he's strapped in. It's also right about now that the mimicking little monkey is limiting our choice of things to listen to in the car. I suppose that is not a bad thing since, as Christians we are supposed to filter what we listen to. No need to fill our heads and hearts with stuff we don't want our kids filling their heads and hearts with, right?
Sheesh. The boys are taking long naps today. I'm starting to get bored. But I really shouldn't put that out there. I'm just asking for it. Maybe I'll read a few pages of God's Politics. I think I may pass it on to one of my brothers once I'm done reading it. And, my bros - if you are reading this please do NOT leave a politicized comment. Please. Please. Please. Oh, and if you do... it's ON. That reminds me. I have to pay a certain kinfold back for all of the political crap he spams me with. Hmmm... let's see if Keith Olberman has a fan club....
