A Series of Unfortunate Events

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible because I just need to write it down and hopefully get it out of my system.  The events of the evening are replaying in my head on a loop.  Hopefully the act of writing it all down will kill the loop and I will be able to shut my brain off and go to sleep.

Bed time started like any other except I didn't take any benadryl because I was plenty tired.  Still, I took a magazine with me because I have to do something before going to sleep.  After reading a dull-ish article which was about to work its slumber inducing magic my heavy eyelids snapped open when I heard a crash upstairs followed immediately by the sound of water falling onto something.  A lot of water.

Even before I heard the water I knew what it was.

Bob.

Darn cat!  She knocked over the pitcher of hydrangea on the dining room table.  I flew out of bed and ran upstairs stopping long enough to grab a bunch of kitchen towels on my way to the dining room.  Ryan got there a second before I did so I handed him some towels and after we soaked those I grabbed some dog towels (old, ragged bath towels now designated for doggy use).  After using three big towels we dumped them in a heap on the tile floor in the kitchen and went back to bed.

But that darn burst of activity woke me up. 

I read a little more and was preparing to doze off when Theo woke up.

Gyar.

I resettled him.

Then a headache I had all evening was really bothersome.  Then I realized I was ravenously hungry and felt like I was going to throw up.

I took some ibuprofen and nuked a Trader Joe's Frozen Indian dinner. 

Twenty minutes later I felt much better.  Forty minutes after that I was ready for sleep.

Then Theo woke up.

I put him back down.

Then I was awake.

Then I got on-line.  I saw it is the memorial for a friend tomorrow.  Harold "Bud" Crovisier. We worked together for a couple of years.  He was a great guy.  Seeing as how I was the receptionist I saw him often in our office.  We were chummy.  He called me Sugar and Dahling.  He made me laugh.   I made him laugh.  I think everyone made him laugh.  I liked it most when he talked about life.  What was real.  He talked about his relationship with God.  His desire to get married.  Diving.   He loved to dive.  He got a huge crazy tattoo on his back.  I never really "got" the dream he talked about that was the inspiration for the shark tat on his back.  I didn't tell him that, though.  I can't imagine that pain for that much ink.  It was pretty cool, though.

But something was wrong.  Bud killed himself from what I gathered on his facebook page.  I didn't know he died until his sister, also someone with whom I worked, friended me on fb and I saw her status about Bud being gone. 

Tomorrow, no, tonight, is his memorial.  A celebration of his life cut short by his own hands. 

I can only imagine the pain he was in to take his own life.   Did he really think the pain wouldn't end?  Did he think the world was better off without him?  He was so loved.   

So, thinking about Bud has kept me up.

I ate some ice cream and read a magazine in an effort to not think about Bud and what his family must be going through.  I keep putting myself in his mother's shoes.  That's not a good place to go.

I was eventually able to nod off. 

Then, you got it, Theo woke up.

Then I thought about Bud some more.

Then I nodded off.

Then the thing that I think would make Bud laugh that kept me up this last time was the repetition of Mary Had a Little Lamb going through my head.

Stupid children's song!  It won't stop!

While that little lamb is making children laugh and play, laugh and play, laugh and play I am trying to sleep but coming up with a contingency plan for tomorrow that does not involve going insane. 

I think it may involve the zoo.

Or the Children's Museum.

And careful orchestration of nap/quiet time.

Making Friends Kicking and Screaming in the Seattle Freeze & a $4 Shower

Have you heard of the Seattle Freeze before?  I just read about it last night (if you want to read the article go here).  It's about how we in Seattle are super nice but not really that welcoming when you get right down to it.  Sure, come visit our fair city then don't let the door hit you on the way out.  And if you are moving here, plan on taking a looong time to make friends.  I have a number of friends who moved here from the East Coast, Midwest and Southwest.  They all say it took them a while to catch on to the way of life here.  No one RSVPs to anything, everyone breaks plans, it takes 10 attempts to get together to do anything (which reminds me I have to call Helen because I was supposed to call her last week to get together with the kids.  Oops).  But!  We are really, really, really nice.  To a fault. 

One way I'm helping to combat the uber friendliness of the city is by trying to not be an obnoxious driver.  Well, I don't think I'm obnoxious.  I believe in taking turns and following the yield signs.  I try to merge into traffic making it seamless.  I'm not the so-kind-I'll-kill-us-all merger.  You know, the person who slows way down to let you in.  That is SO annoying.  If it is up to me to merge into traffic it is up to me to get up to freeway speed - it's not up to everyone on the freeway to accommodate me. 

Oh, and if you hang out at a green light - especially a light with a short cycle, I will honk at you.  The honk is always polite (as polite as a honk can be) at first.  It gets progressively louder and longer the longer the person fiddling with the radio sits there oblivious to the green light.  Oh, and I may honk at you if you insist on driving 20 mph in a 30 mph zone. 

Today at the toddler open gym - which is going to cost an extra $2 very soon because Theo is sooo close to walking.  Today he took 9 steps in open gym.  I kind of looked around to see if someone was going to walk up to me with their hand out demanding an extra $2 fee for my now walking child.  But then he dropped to his knees and continued crawling.  Whew.  Close call.

Anyhoo - back the Seattle Freeze at open gym time.  I decided to challenge myself and not be a true Seattleite (learn the names of the children but not the parents) - although I think the Seattle Freeze could very well be the Northwest Freeze, too.  But to prove that I would actually have to do research and that would involve, well, work.  No thanks.

Gavin was running around and enjoying the kiddie roller coaster, tricycles (which he actually peddled today) and bouncy houses and Theo was enjoying crawling around and looking in the playhouse and all of the push toys.  I sat near Mr. T as he would need the most help and he also dislikes being too far away from me.  Two other dads followed their tots to where all of the action was - near the playhouse.  So I chatted them up. 

I met dad Scott and son ... shoot... no, his name is not shoot but that reminds me - my younger brother met a couple at his church who named their kid Shooter.  Was it Shooter?  Slayer?  Something totally horrible that will either give the kid super thick skin or will lead him to the only profession one with that name could have:  death metal band "singer" - quotation marks are needed.  No, the son's name was Truman.  Pretty cool. 

I also met Maurice and son Jackson.  Very nice man.  He said they considered Theo for their boy - I'm glad he didn't choose Theo.  I kind of like having the only Theo around.  Yesterday I kept hearing someone calling for Gavin at another play space and it was driving me nuts. 

Maurice and I talked quite a bit.  I really put forth an effort to be chatty but not over the top.  I told him about Halloween events coming up that are for the kiddos and we chatted about adoption a bit because both of his boys are adopted. 

I was supervising Gavin in the bouncy house when he came over to say bye.  I asked his name again because I forgot it 2 seconds after he told me the first time and extended my hand for a shake.  He gave me a hug instead.  Quite a squeeze.  My ear smashed against his cheek and I felt it form a suction - kind of like you do when you are trying to get your ears to pop on an airplane. 

So much for the Seattle freeze. 

Then right before I tried to convince Gavin we needed to leave I sat down with Theo who was telling me in no uncertain terms he wanted milk - right NOW.  Scott came over right about then, I'm assuming to chat a bit since he could see Maurice and I talking earlier, but before we could say two words he got up and left again. 

I'm thinking that me shoving Theo's head under my shirt and his chubby little legs flailing about while he happily nursed may have made him a tad uncomfortable.  Nothing was exposed but some people are just uncomfortable knowing whats going on under your shirt.  Thank God for super baggy shirts with an elasticized waist - I guess some would call it a peasant blouse.  I couldn't find my nursing cover so the shirt worked perfectly.

Then Theo was done eating and it was time to devastate Gavin.  All Hell was about to break loose.  Before going to the open gym I almost put Gavin in his cute red T-shirt that has a cartoonish picture of a devil that says Li'l Devil but I thought, if he does act up then its going to look like I'm just asking for it putting him in that shirt.  Maybe I should get him a shirt with a picture of an angel on it.  Would it work? 

So, I tell Gavin he has 5 more minutes to do what ever he wants to do before we were going to leave.  If he leaves like a good boy with Mommy and doesn't kick and scream he gets a special lunch of rice and beans (yeah, you read that right).  My boys love pinto beans and rice from Taco Time. 

No dice.

There was much weeping and gnashing of teeth.  I had to carry him and Theo out to the van.  I told him I was very upset (understatement of the year - I was white hot mad) and that we were going to go to Kids Club for a little bit so I could take a shower and if he wanted to try again he could show me some good behavior when we left Kids Club and he could still get rice and beans for lunch.

Kids Club is the daycare at our gym; I took them there so I could have my $4 shower.  Gavin loves kids club because the staff are fun and there are lots of toys that we don't have at  home and lots and lots of space to run around.  Theo tolerates it.  He really hates to see me leave but a shiny toy dangled in front of his face provides a great distraction for him.  I dropped off the boys and ran downstairs and took a shower.

That was the only reason I went there today.  I didn't want to risk making a bunch of noise taking a shower right next to Theo's room downstairs and keeping him from napping since he only slept 15 minutes this morning. 

I forgot my flip flops for the shower.  It really grosses me out to stand in the shower with bare feet.  I hope I don't get Athlete's Foot.

Search Party, Deja Vu or It Escaped!!!

Today was nearly perfect.  After a night of so-so sleep Ryan took the boys this morning and I slept another hour or so.  Amazingly, I woke up in time to go to church.  Unfortunately for Ryan it was the second Sunday service where the congregation moves their chairs around a bit and we have group discussions.  I really like these Sundays because people are, for the most part, pretty honest.  We talked about God's protection today and I fessed up that I have a hard time trusting Him to keep my family safe.  That led to more discussion in the van on the way home but I won't go there - not  here.  Not today at least.  It's not one of those posts.

After church we went to Costco to look at an area rug for the living room to replace the one Theo pooped all over.  Yep.  Poop.  Everywhere.  Nothing that we could clean up and feel clean about ever using it again.  The garbage men picked it up the other day.  It felt like such a waste of a perfectly good, cheap, stained, dirty area rug from Ikea that served its purpose well.  Finding a replacement is proving to be more difficult than I anticipated mostly because the main criterion is that it be cheap.  I don't think our days of little people oozing poop all over the place are over.

We left Costco - no dogs, no pizza, no soda, no gelato and no chocolate ice cream frozen yogurt with strawberries and went home for lunch.  Ryan is so darn good.  He offered to stop but I thought I should pass.  Of course I had a frozen yogurt later in the day and a ton of Pepsi (had to drink it before it went flat) and way too many snickerdoodles.  Not good.  Tomorrow I start another two week stint of no sugar.  It's not going to be easy. 

After lunch Mr. T went down for a nap and the G had some quiet time in his crib playing with Legos.  I ate said snickerdoodles, washed down with Pepsi, watched Project Runway (glad to see Michael C. get some love finally) then swept and mopped the kitchen, dining and living rooms. 

Since Theo woke up a bit on the early side I hustled the boys off to Ikea so I could look for another area rug and a childproof safety gate that Gavin can't open. 

He can open both of Ikea's kiddie gates.  A woman walking by got a kick out of what she saw, "Gavin, come here please.  Try to open this gate, please."  "OK.  Settles that.  No Ikea gates." 

I bought two rugs - Ryan can choose chocolate brown or red like the dining room walls.  So far he likes neither.  I bet he would like them if he saw the other ones with swirly designs on them that I liked but didn't buy because I knew he would despise them.  I also picked out the faucets for the bathroom sink.  Ryan doesn't like them but he picked out the vanity and sink so I think I'll take this one (and the color and the tile choices, too).  But I'm the woman, I get more say in decoration decisions, right?  He is still the luckiest guy on the planet because I don't force pink and floral on him.  Luckiest I tell you.  

Of course, I'm pretty lucky to have him, too.  He let me paint the living room chocolate brown and dining room a deep red.  It looks fantastic but he had to have some faith. 

So....  Ikea.  Gavin got to play with toys, he got some frozen yogurt, Theo got some Swedish meatballs.  It was a good trip. 

After Ikea we went to the playground.  Fun was had by all.  Most of it was on Gavin's end but we all had a good time enjoying one of the last gorgeous days of summer.  This weekend has been unbelievable.  Sun and blue skies dotted with white clouds.  Perfection.

Dinner for the boys was cottage cheese and fruit.  Yep.  I'm that kind of mother.  It was late and cooking would delay bedtime.  We couldn't have that. 

Oh my gosh.  I am just dragging this out, aren't I?!  So a lot more happened that involved cleaning then...

I walked into the downstairs bathroom and if you read the previous post you know where this is going... I saw another big fat spider! 

&;$^#&;(!

It was like freakin' deja vu, man!  For a brief second I thought it was the spider from yesterday but that's not possible.  Really.  There is no escaping from the central vac canister.  Then I thought it was part of a search party looking for the spider I vacuumed yesterday. 

This time I put the camera on a different setting and snapped a picture and one with the hose as I was about to suck the spider up into the vacuum hose.  This time I did do the creepy crawly gross spider dance.  I think it was because I had one hand on the camera and was much closer to the spider so I could attempt to snap a photo of the vacuuming action. 

Just had a post spider vacuuming shiver.

And another. 

Now you see it.

Now you don't.

Oh, and this was the spider from yesterday (don't ask me why it loaded today but wouldn't last night).

A close up.

And just so you know how big it was, another picture - this one is a bit blurry but it will have to do.

Feel free to do your own creepy crawly dance now.

All Creatures Great and Small

A couple of months ago the boys and I took some baby birds to an animal rescue group.  They needed help and I was able to get them to the place where they could get help.  I think I should call to see how the birds fared.  I will also need to write about the whole experience from discovering the birds - originally as eggs - in a roller blade in our back yard to amazing skills to deduce the mother was dead to driving them to a sanctuary in Woodinville.  I suppose the summary tells you everything you need to know but why give you the nutshell version of a story when I can drag it out and make it a lengthy saga?

This story is not about birds but it is another creature, great in purpose, smallish in nature.  Also, gross and creepy and crawly.  It's about a spider.  I don't know what kind of spider.  It has had 8 legs, that's all I can tell you about it; other than it was FREAKIN' HUGE!  And by FREAKIN' HUGE I am using my frame of reference as a woman who has grown up in the Pacific Northwest where our largest spiders are probably snacks for other spiders in other more tropical regions of the world.

Still.  It was big.

A couple of weeks ago I read an article in the Times about a seeming population spike in spiders.  We don't actually have more spiders but because of our funky weather we've been having they have been maturing faster so they are bigger and we are noticing them earlier than we normally do.  A woman in the story used to be very afraid of spiders until one day she decided to not be.  She studied spiders and learned a lot about them.  She kept some as pets even.   Throughout the article I learned that a non-native spider is taking over the hobo spider population here in the NW - it's our only poisonous spider.  Or was it the recluse?  Eh, one of them is native to this area and is only moderately poisonous, I guess.  Which ever one it was is on the decline (yea!).

I also learned what we often attribute to spider bites are most often not spider bites.  A spider person - arachna something ist - said in his many years of working with spiders he had only been bitten once or twice and it was like a mosquito bite.

After reading the article I was feeling less squeamish around spiders.  I didn't jump out of my skin and rush to squish every spider that dared to cross my path in the house.  I sized it up and thought to myself, "It's eating the other bugs and keeping the pest population under control.  It's my friend."  Or something along those lines.  Then I turned my thoughts to something else and went on with my evening - because they always come out at night and since I am sleeping in the basement I see a lot of the little buggers, I mean, helpful other bug eating creatures.

It didn't hurt that in the article they were described as being clean like cats, doing a lot of grooming.

When we spend time outside and see a spider I draw Gavin's attention to it and tell him a little about spiders.  How they eat bugs and are helpful creatures and the like. 

He does not witness any hysterics.  No screaming, no jumping.  Just his mom calmly looking at the spider and talking about it's web and eight legs.

Tonight I took a hiatus from my spider loving ways.  And, I do mean love.  To go from hate to not killing is an act of love.

I was in the downstairs (of course) bathroom.  Out of the corner of my eye I saw something big and black on the ceiling.  Did you catch that?  I noticed it with my PERIPHERAL vision it was so FREAKIN' HUGE!  To show you how huge it is I will now post a picture of said monster.

Frick!

I can't upload the picture.  Maybe I'll have Ryan look at it tomorrow to see if he can help upload it.

Trust me.  It was huge.

Without screaming or doing the yucky squirmy spider dance I ran upstairs to ask Ryan if he thought a freakishly huge spider would be able to climb back out of the vacuum cleaner after I sucked it up.  He thought for a second and replied, "Yeah, but probably only at night when you are sleeping downstairs." 

By the way - Ryan and I are fine.  I'm sleeping downstairs to be near Mr. T who does not sleep through the night.

I grabbed the hose attachment to the central vacuum and ran back downstairs with the camera (set to a bad setting apparently) to take a picture of the freakishly huge spider before I sucked it up.  I stood as far away as I could and slowly inched forward with the vacuum hose trained at the spider.  It was so big you could see it slowly pull away from the wall, little leg by little leg.  OK, even if it went down that way I wouldn't know since I was looking through squinted eyes and off to the side a little as if I was trying to light a gas burner that had been pouring gas for a while before a flame was introduced. 

The house is down one freakishly huge spider.  I bet it was one I let meander on by earlier all fattened up on bugs.  Sorry spider.  You just aren't allowed to be that big in my house.