The oddest thing happened tonight. Gavin's mood got progressively better as the night wore on. He kept looking at me and Ryan with those blue, blue eyes and giving his cute open mouth two teeth smile. Then he would laugh. Smile, laugh, smile, laugh. There isn't a better sound in the world than his laughter. Not even the sound of the ice-cream truck or the dog's dream barking come close.
Of course all good things must come to an end. A switch flipped and then there was crying and screaming and tears. His cute smiles turned into cute scowls; I don't think his intention was for his frown and furrowed forehead to be cute but he just can't help himself.
I gathered my grumpy baby and had him say goodnight to Ryan and went into his bedroom. By this point he quit crying but I wasn't fooled. He was still tired. I kissed his sweet little head and cheeks then laid him down in his crib.
KABOOM
Did you know going to bed is the end of the world? Yes. The end. At least that is what Gavin told me in no uncertain terms. I stood by his crib and gently patted his belly (he sleeps on his tummy now but he kept flipping over onto his back in protest) because he didn't give me a chance to pat his back.
I do believe I witnessed Gavin's first temper tantrum. It was, of course, so cute that I just laughed. Then I stifled my snickering and tried to talk to him in calm, soothing tones.
What does a tantrum look like from an 8 month old? Besides screaming, the kind of screaming that hurts your ears - I've been to concerts that didn't hurt my ears as much as his ear piercing screams, he was arching his back, kicking his feet and whaling his arms and fists against the mattress. But like other white hot fires he burned up his fuel fast and quit the scream fest in just a few minutes. I stood by his crib and rubbed his back for about 10 minutes before he finally fell asleep. He didn't wake again until 3 am. It's always a good night when he only wakes up once. I don't think there was ever a time when I thought that there would be a time that I would be happy to wake up at 3 am. It's probably not so much that I'm happy to wake up at 3 am but I'm happy that I wasn't up at midnight and 2 am before that and know that I would be up again at 4 or 5 am.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Wednesday, June 25, 2008
Jerk
Before Ryan left for work this morning he set the trash out by the street for pick up. I was off to an early start (relatively speaking) and was out the door by 8:30 because today is the free car seat check day at Ikea in Renton. I wanted to arrive by 9:00 so I wouldn't have to wait in a huge line and it paid off, I was second in line. The nice volunteer from the Washington Traffic Safety Commission helped me install Gavin's new car seat - the kind that is going to stay put in the car. No more taking him in and out and clicking the basket infant car seat into the stroller. If he falls asleep in his car seat now we have no choice but to leave him in the car while we do our shopping.
Ha. As if.
The trip to Ikea isn't really a part of this Jerk story. I only write of it because this morning when I walked out to the car everything appeared to be normal in the yard, everything in its place. Upon arriving home I checked to see how my dahlias were doing as I walked from the car to the front steps. After surveying the sad looking dahlias by the steps my eyes wandered to the other corner of the yard to see how the other grouping were doing.
Something wasn't right. The dahlias were there, the lilies were there but something was missing.
Our new tree!
We have hemmed and hawed for TWO years about what to plant in the corner of death as we call it; so named because the sun is so intense in that location that you have to be vigilant about watering it and it has to be hearty. So we selected a tropical looking tree that thrives in heat and is hearty to 10 F.
Before I freaked out I called Ryan to ask if he moved anything from the front yard to another spot. He asked what I meant so I asked him if he moved the tree we just planted. He laughed and said that he didn't as it dawned on him that our tree was stolen.
Someone stole our tree! In the middle of the day. It was freshly planted and not very big so someone could just walk right up and pluck it out of the ground with very little effort even though the yard is about 5 feet above the level of the sidewalk.
Jerk!
We are debating whether or not to buy another tree to put in that same spot; are we just going to be giving someone a new tree to match their freshly stolen one? If we do plant another tree we are going to have to put some sort of icky barrier around it so the $&^% who stole the first one can't just reach over and pull it out - they will have to be especially brazen and walk up the stairs and cross the yard to get it.
This is kind of funny, kind of not. The tree only cost $25 because it was on sale but now we have to go buy another one that will cost more as the sale is over. At least we won't have to amend the soil and dig a hole since there is a gaping hole from where the first tree was.
Ha. As if.
The trip to Ikea isn't really a part of this Jerk story. I only write of it because this morning when I walked out to the car everything appeared to be normal in the yard, everything in its place. Upon arriving home I checked to see how my dahlias were doing as I walked from the car to the front steps. After surveying the sad looking dahlias by the steps my eyes wandered to the other corner of the yard to see how the other grouping were doing.
Something wasn't right. The dahlias were there, the lilies were there but something was missing.
Our new tree!
We have hemmed and hawed for TWO years about what to plant in the corner of death as we call it; so named because the sun is so intense in that location that you have to be vigilant about watering it and it has to be hearty. So we selected a tropical looking tree that thrives in heat and is hearty to 10 F.
Before I freaked out I called Ryan to ask if he moved anything from the front yard to another spot. He asked what I meant so I asked him if he moved the tree we just planted. He laughed and said that he didn't as it dawned on him that our tree was stolen.
Someone stole our tree! In the middle of the day. It was freshly planted and not very big so someone could just walk right up and pluck it out of the ground with very little effort even though the yard is about 5 feet above the level of the sidewalk.
Jerk!
We are debating whether or not to buy another tree to put in that same spot; are we just going to be giving someone a new tree to match their freshly stolen one? If we do plant another tree we are going to have to put some sort of icky barrier around it so the $&^% who stole the first one can't just reach over and pull it out - they will have to be especially brazen and walk up the stairs and cross the yard to get it.
This is kind of funny, kind of not. The tree only cost $25 because it was on sale but now we have to go buy another one that will cost more as the sale is over. At least we won't have to amend the soil and dig a hole since there is a gaping hole from where the first tree was.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Weekend in Wenatchee
We spent the weekend at Ryan's dad & step-mom's house in Wenatchee. Ryan helped his dad a bit by digging a trench for the irrigation system he is putting in his back yard. This project of course inspired Ryan to do the same thing in our back yard. We were home from our 3+ hour drive home maybe an hour before we all piled back into the car and headed off to Home Depot to buy the materials needed for a drip system and sprinkler system. Good times.
Aside from being chauffeured all over Eastern Washington by my grandpa the summer between fourth and fifth grade this was the longest time I've spent in Eastern Washington. Wait. That isn't true. I forgot that one summer, I think between fifth and sixth grade, my family vacationed in a cabin in Conquinelly in Okanagon County. My brothers and I spent our time swimming in the lake, making friends and killing grasshoppers - there was an abundance of grasshoppers that summer and we would jump from grasshopper to grasshopper. I don't think my mom saw us do that, she wouldn't have approved. Gross.
Gavin was the recipient of much love and attention from his Grandpa and Grandma Jahns. They were the recipient of much drool and a few bites. G's top two teeth are going to burst through his gums any day now. Because of the impending arrival of his upper chompers he has been a little fussier, a lot droolier and way, way snottier which have taken his sneezes from being cute to being really gross. His sleep also suffered. Check that - the whole family's sleep has suffered. Karl & Suzanne didn't hear his screaming at 4:30 in the morning though because their bedroom was downstairs on the other side of the house. That made me feel better.
Kea almost took a header off the cliff behind their house. Ryan saw that she found a way around the sage brush border and had her paws over the edge trying to get a discarded teddy bear on the adjacent property. Gavin won't be allowed outside unless he has at least one set of eyeballs on him at all times.
Other than going for the cliff Kea was mostly well behaved. Karl & Suzanne seemed to really like the dog. I keep forgetting that they like animals because they only recently got two cats. I keep yelling at Kea when she goes and licks Suzanne but Suzanne doesn't seem to mind. Ryan and I lucked out that they like the dog and that their cats tolerate her.
Karl took us on a tour of Wenatchee and the surrounding foothills. I didn't realize how pretty Eastern Washington is. I have always pictured it as a barren wasteland, save the orchards of course. It was the orchards that I thought were so beautiful dotting the mountains and valleys. I couldn't live out there, though. It is too far removed from everything and the weather is too hot or too cold and seldom just right - I don't think Goldilocks would like it either.
On our next trip out there we are going to go on a 10 mile bike ride that Suzanne was telling us about. I love bike rides but Seattle is just way to hilly with way too much traffic for me to feel comfortable riding a bike. Ryan did talk about the Burke Gillman trail, he said there aren't too many inclines so we should do that ride this summer or fall. We will have to rent a special bike or get some sort of seat for Gavin that can attach to Ryan's bike. I don't want to have Gavin on my bike as I am challenged in the grace department.
On our way home we decided to stop in Leavenworth (the former logging town turned into a tourist trap in the stylings of a Bavarian village) because I've never been. I've been harping on Ryan to take me there during the Christmas season because I want to see it all snowy and magical. He laughed when I said 'magical'; I laughed, too. Who says magical, anyway?
Karl and Suzanne followed us to Leavenworth and were gracious to take Kea while Ryan and I wandered in shops - Kea's tail and knick knack shops do not go well together. Since I'm not a big shopper and neither is Ryan we actually only stopped in four stores. The music box store ($$$), the gift shop next to the music box store, the clothing store, the hat store, the Christmas store and the candy store. Das ist alles (that's all). I took three years of German in high school and I can hardly remember any of it. Nicht so gut (not so good). I do remember some of the dialogue we had to memorize in 8th grade German class.
Alice, jermand ist an die tur. (Alice, someone's at the door).
Um die ecke (around the corner)
Ist es noch frei? (Is this free?)
So, so wie ich dich liebe/so, so, liebst du auch mich (so, so, how I love you/ so, so, you love me too) - that was love a song we had to learn. There are so many more lyrics... my favorite is: dir, dir, mit leichten Sinn (you, you with an empty head). It's been 14 or 15 years since we learned that song so I'm not completely confident in the lyrics.
It's been 14 or 15 years! I graduated from High School 13 years ago. Yikes. I feel old. A caregiver, Aretha, at the daycare in my gym was telling a story that her mom told her recently about putting some plastic toys in the microwave and catching them on fire when she was a little girl. My family didn't get a microwave until I was 10, it was a wedding gift for my parents. Aretha was probably in diapers when I graduated.
I may feel old but Ryan will always be older than me. He's a guy so he doesn't care like I do. He's been out of high school for 15 years. Before we know it we are going to be going to his 20 year reunion. Unreal. It seems like we just went to his 10 year reunion.
Back to Leavenworth...
The Christmas store was AWESOME! The employees were really friendly which is a good thing since its a Christmas store but I would go insane working there. I love Christmas and the decorations and the music but only for 6 weeks, tops. I get super peeved when Christmas displays start going up around Labor Day, just ask Ryan. Every year he hears me gasp as we walk into _____ (Lowe's/Home Depot/Target/Bartell's....) and there is a gaudy inflatable snowman next to a gigantic Santa in a snow globe next to the forest of artificial trees all while the sun is still shining bright and warm which in Seattle means it is SUMMER, not winter, not even close. After the gasp I let loose on a tirade about the commercialism of Christmas and how the holiday is cheapened by these displays and so early at that...
So, the Christmas store. Year 'round glitter and carols and cheer. It's a jolly place alright. I bought one ornament, a beaded star that Ryan didn't like, probably because the center bead was gold - he hates gold. I doubt he would turn down a gold brick if one were offered to him. The Christmas store was playing some music that Ryan and I both commented on; it was jazzy and had just a touch of Christmas flare. I asked the clerk what was playing and she showed me the CD. $15 for the CD. I don't think so. Have they not heard of amazon or E-bay? Hello. I bought the CD for $7 ($3 for the CD & $4 for shipping and handling). The CD just arrived in the mail today - that was fast! Now only 5 months before I can play it - the day after Thanksgiving is the official start of the Christmas Season for me. I get really annoyed when Christmas movies are played on Thanksgiving. Why not play Planes, Trains and Automobiles with John Candy? That's a Thanksgiving movie. Or the cute cartoon with the mice pilgrims coming to the New World?
Aside from being chauffeured all over Eastern Washington by my grandpa the summer between fourth and fifth grade this was the longest time I've spent in Eastern Washington. Wait. That isn't true. I forgot that one summer, I think between fifth and sixth grade, my family vacationed in a cabin in Conquinelly in Okanagon County. My brothers and I spent our time swimming in the lake, making friends and killing grasshoppers - there was an abundance of grasshoppers that summer and we would jump from grasshopper to grasshopper. I don't think my mom saw us do that, she wouldn't have approved. Gross.
Gavin was the recipient of much love and attention from his Grandpa and Grandma Jahns. They were the recipient of much drool and a few bites. G's top two teeth are going to burst through his gums any day now. Because of the impending arrival of his upper chompers he has been a little fussier, a lot droolier and way, way snottier which have taken his sneezes from being cute to being really gross. His sleep also suffered. Check that - the whole family's sleep has suffered. Karl & Suzanne didn't hear his screaming at 4:30 in the morning though because their bedroom was downstairs on the other side of the house. That made me feel better.
Kea almost took a header off the cliff behind their house. Ryan saw that she found a way around the sage brush border and had her paws over the edge trying to get a discarded teddy bear on the adjacent property. Gavin won't be allowed outside unless he has at least one set of eyeballs on him at all times.
Other than going for the cliff Kea was mostly well behaved. Karl & Suzanne seemed to really like the dog. I keep forgetting that they like animals because they only recently got two cats. I keep yelling at Kea when she goes and licks Suzanne but Suzanne doesn't seem to mind. Ryan and I lucked out that they like the dog and that their cats tolerate her.
Karl took us on a tour of Wenatchee and the surrounding foothills. I didn't realize how pretty Eastern Washington is. I have always pictured it as a barren wasteland, save the orchards of course. It was the orchards that I thought were so beautiful dotting the mountains and valleys. I couldn't live out there, though. It is too far removed from everything and the weather is too hot or too cold and seldom just right - I don't think Goldilocks would like it either.
On our next trip out there we are going to go on a 10 mile bike ride that Suzanne was telling us about. I love bike rides but Seattle is just way to hilly with way too much traffic for me to feel comfortable riding a bike. Ryan did talk about the Burke Gillman trail, he said there aren't too many inclines so we should do that ride this summer or fall. We will have to rent a special bike or get some sort of seat for Gavin that can attach to Ryan's bike. I don't want to have Gavin on my bike as I am challenged in the grace department.
On our way home we decided to stop in Leavenworth (the former logging town turned into a tourist trap in the stylings of a Bavarian village) because I've never been. I've been harping on Ryan to take me there during the Christmas season because I want to see it all snowy and magical. He laughed when I said 'magical'; I laughed, too. Who says magical, anyway?
Karl and Suzanne followed us to Leavenworth and were gracious to take Kea while Ryan and I wandered in shops - Kea's tail and knick knack shops do not go well together. Since I'm not a big shopper and neither is Ryan we actually only stopped in four stores. The music box store ($$$), the gift shop next to the music box store, the clothing store, the hat store, the Christmas store and the candy store. Das ist alles (that's all). I took three years of German in high school and I can hardly remember any of it. Nicht so gut (not so good). I do remember some of the dialogue we had to memorize in 8th grade German class.
Alice, jermand ist an die tur. (Alice, someone's at the door).
Um die ecke (around the corner)
Ist es noch frei? (Is this free?)
So, so wie ich dich liebe/so, so, liebst du auch mich (so, so, how I love you/ so, so, you love me too) - that was love a song we had to learn. There are so many more lyrics... my favorite is: dir, dir, mit leichten Sinn (you, you with an empty head). It's been 14 or 15 years since we learned that song so I'm not completely confident in the lyrics.
It's been 14 or 15 years! I graduated from High School 13 years ago. Yikes. I feel old. A caregiver, Aretha, at the daycare in my gym was telling a story that her mom told her recently about putting some plastic toys in the microwave and catching them on fire when she was a little girl. My family didn't get a microwave until I was 10, it was a wedding gift for my parents. Aretha was probably in diapers when I graduated.
I may feel old but Ryan will always be older than me. He's a guy so he doesn't care like I do. He's been out of high school for 15 years. Before we know it we are going to be going to his 20 year reunion. Unreal. It seems like we just went to his 10 year reunion.
Back to Leavenworth...
The Christmas store was AWESOME! The employees were really friendly which is a good thing since its a Christmas store but I would go insane working there. I love Christmas and the decorations and the music but only for 6 weeks, tops. I get super peeved when Christmas displays start going up around Labor Day, just ask Ryan. Every year he hears me gasp as we walk into _____ (Lowe's/Home Depot/Target/Bartell's....) and there is a gaudy inflatable snowman next to a gigantic Santa in a snow globe next to the forest of artificial trees all while the sun is still shining bright and warm which in Seattle means it is SUMMER, not winter, not even close. After the gasp I let loose on a tirade about the commercialism of Christmas and how the holiday is cheapened by these displays and so early at that...
So, the Christmas store. Year 'round glitter and carols and cheer. It's a jolly place alright. I bought one ornament, a beaded star that Ryan didn't like, probably because the center bead was gold - he hates gold. I doubt he would turn down a gold brick if one were offered to him. The Christmas store was playing some music that Ryan and I both commented on; it was jazzy and had just a touch of Christmas flare. I asked the clerk what was playing and she showed me the CD. $15 for the CD. I don't think so. Have they not heard of amazon or E-bay? Hello. I bought the CD for $7 ($3 for the CD & $4 for shipping and handling). The CD just arrived in the mail today - that was fast! Now only 5 months before I can play it - the day after Thanksgiving is the official start of the Christmas Season for me. I get really annoyed when Christmas movies are played on Thanksgiving. Why not play Planes, Trains and Automobiles with John Candy? That's a Thanksgiving movie. Or the cute cartoon with the mice pilgrims coming to the New World?
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
He Done Did It
Saturday we went to a girlfriends house to celebrate her 30th birthday. It was baby central. There was a 14 month old, a 10 month old and Gavin (8 months). Then the birthday girl and a guest are pregnant and due only days apart. That left two couples without children. Gavin and the other baby, Augie, were having a grand old time doing the crawl, rocking back and forth and being the center of attention. Not even an hour after we got home Ryan and I were watching Gavin on hands and knees rocking back and forth when suddenly - he was just going forward. I said, "Ryan, is he crawling? He's crawling! Ryan! He's crawling!" Of course Ryan could see this with his own two eyes as he was right there. I'm glad we both got to see his first official crawl.
He's getting faster and faster with each passing day. We still have to baby proof the house. Now if I have to leave the room for a second I have to put him in the Pack 'n Play whereas before I just left knowing he would be in the same spot I left him in. Oh, there is so much to do!
Now that he's crawling we have to put carpet in his room. The floors are pine, a softwood, that have had 81 years of abuse and neglect. I don't think they can just be refinished, a lot of boards would need to be replaced because the grooves are so deep; that and the previous owner had a dog that wasn't so well house trained if you know what I mean. I hear stains on pine are near impossible to get out because the wood is so soft that the liquid really penetrates the fiber.
Ryan's step-dad has some cute carpet squares that he got from a church's nursery, they have bird houses and birds and butterflies on them that he is going to give to us.
Right now would be a great time to clean the house. Ryan's in bed and Gavin finally went to sleep so it's just me; even the dog is asleep. But now is also a great time to blog, besides, cleaning is noisy and it wouldn't be very nice of me to wake the boys.
Maybe tomorrow will be more productive. We'll see. If I count on a day to clean and do laundry then I can count on something going wrong (like a wonderful baby turning cranky and refusing naps) so I'm going to take tomorrow as it comes.
He's getting faster and faster with each passing day. We still have to baby proof the house. Now if I have to leave the room for a second I have to put him in the Pack 'n Play whereas before I just left knowing he would be in the same spot I left him in. Oh, there is so much to do!
Now that he's crawling we have to put carpet in his room. The floors are pine, a softwood, that have had 81 years of abuse and neglect. I don't think they can just be refinished, a lot of boards would need to be replaced because the grooves are so deep; that and the previous owner had a dog that wasn't so well house trained if you know what I mean. I hear stains on pine are near impossible to get out because the wood is so soft that the liquid really penetrates the fiber.
Ryan's step-dad has some cute carpet squares that he got from a church's nursery, they have bird houses and birds and butterflies on them that he is going to give to us.
Right now would be a great time to clean the house. Ryan's in bed and Gavin finally went to sleep so it's just me; even the dog is asleep. But now is also a great time to blog, besides, cleaning is noisy and it wouldn't be very nice of me to wake the boys.
Maybe tomorrow will be more productive. We'll see. If I count on a day to clean and do laundry then I can count on something going wrong (like a wonderful baby turning cranky and refusing naps) so I'm going to take tomorrow as it comes.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
Perspective
I just found out that a woman I used to work with has breast cancer. Heather is only two years older than me. We could have bumped into each other at the Swedish Breast Center where she was diagnosed as I've been going there off and on for 6 months now.
How different our stories are. I found a lump and had a biopsy. It was negative. She found a lump and had a biopsy. It was positive. Her form of cancer is super nasty and aggressive. She has so many decisions to make in such a short period of time, the ramifications of which are extraordinary. Should she freeze her eggs, freeze embryos, have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy?
Heather has a blog which she is sharing with everyone; I've included a link on my home page. Check it out. Reading her words is like taking a trip into her head; you really feel like you are with her on her journey through this disease. It is her hope that her transparency will help others who are going through this and that others may see themselves in her and get checked.
I don't know what to do or what to say to her. I want to be there for her, I want to help her. I do know that you aren't supposed to just say, "If there is anything I can do for you, just call." No one calls when they need help. So far she said she would take help with meals but she can't eat too many carbs and no meat. Does anyone out there have any good and tasty vegetarian recipes that are light on the carbs?
Is there anyone out there who has had cancer and can tell me how I can best be a friend during this time to someone with cancer? It seems asking Heather what she needs would be the obvious way to find out but this is so new to her that she may not even know what she needs. But then I feel like I'm being presumptuous. Argh. I guess even a friend has to muddle through, right?
If you decide you don't want to read her blog, that's fine, just be sure to do monthly breast exams, ladies. Early detection is so important. I saw a pamphlet at the Breast Center on my last visit, I think I still have it my purse. I had two pamphlets, the first is titled, "Have You Been to a Check Your Boobies Party?" the website is http://www.checkyourboobies.org/ My one beef with the pamphlet - they have a picture of a breast on one of the pages. It is a perfect boob. Why? Why not have a picture of a normal boob? Not that my much maligned boob looks normal now - nor am I offering my boob up for a photo shoot. It has scar tissue that will hopefully fade over time but I can't complain too much, now can I? Everything was negative.
The other pamphlet is for the organization American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I picked up the pamphlet while I was waiting at Than Brother's for my to go order of Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup). A month or so ago I heard an advertisement on the radio for Out of the Darkness Overnight, a walk to raise awareness for suicide prevention (and depression, which, obviously can lead to suicide). The Seattle walk is June 21st. I don't think I'll be up for it since my foot will be newly out of the boot at that point so I can give it a plug here - go to TheOvernight.org for more information.
When I heard the advertisement for the walk I really wanted to participate because I want to help take away the stigma that our society gives to depression. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about depression and suicide and I think if we become more comfortable talking about it more people will seek help and less people will commit suicide.
It doesn't bother me to tell people that I take an antidepressant; it bothers people to hear that I take an antidepressant. I have taken various ones over the years. Drugs help me. So does the sun. I buy full spectrum light bulbs for our light fixtures in the house so my brain is tricked into thinking its getting more sun that it really is.
When we start trying for baby #2 I'm going to have to quit taking Zoloft. I wonder how I'm going to do without it. I've been pretty good about trying to connect with other mothers who have babies close to Gavin's age in an attempt to keep me sane. I try to leave the house every day and have contact with the outside world. I will probably have to double up on those efforts when we start trying to conceive. I'm sure I could do ok without drugs by making sure I get plenty of fresh air and exposure to the sun (or the rays that manage to break through the clouds that are present October 1st - July 5th), eat a well balanced diet, get lots of exercise and meditate daily.
It is so much easier to take a pill.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a horrible attitude but you know what? I know me. I know me pretty darn well. I am the kind of person who wishes her house was organized, that every paper clip had a home, where every scrap of paper was in its place, where every towel in the linen closet is folded perfectly, where every sock has its mate, all of the clothes in her closet are arranged by color then season and are all ironed and facing the same direction.
I want that but so long as it is my house and I'm in charge of it, it ain't happenin'. And you know what? I am coming to terms with that reality. I am 31 and I am just getting used to the idea that I don't have to be perfect to be happy. In my head I have always known that perfection is impossible and even if it were possible it wouldn't guarantee happiness but something, somewhere inside of me still believed that if I put my house in order then all will be well with my world.
I'm willing to settle for a clean house with a messy closet (or two). Now that I'm walking I am better able to clean the house but I'm still not 100%. Walking with this boot is not easy. I'm fooling myself into thinking that as soon as the boot comes off I will turn into Martha Stewart and start keeping house like a 'real' housewife. I bet my house would be only slightly cleaner than it is now if I was at home and didn't have Gavin to occupy my time.
How different our stories are. I found a lump and had a biopsy. It was negative. She found a lump and had a biopsy. It was positive. Her form of cancer is super nasty and aggressive. She has so many decisions to make in such a short period of time, the ramifications of which are extraordinary. Should she freeze her eggs, freeze embryos, have a lumpectomy or a mastectomy?
Heather has a blog which she is sharing with everyone; I've included a link on my home page. Check it out. Reading her words is like taking a trip into her head; you really feel like you are with her on her journey through this disease. It is her hope that her transparency will help others who are going through this and that others may see themselves in her and get checked.
I don't know what to do or what to say to her. I want to be there for her, I want to help her. I do know that you aren't supposed to just say, "If there is anything I can do for you, just call." No one calls when they need help. So far she said she would take help with meals but she can't eat too many carbs and no meat. Does anyone out there have any good and tasty vegetarian recipes that are light on the carbs?
Is there anyone out there who has had cancer and can tell me how I can best be a friend during this time to someone with cancer? It seems asking Heather what she needs would be the obvious way to find out but this is so new to her that she may not even know what she needs. But then I feel like I'm being presumptuous. Argh. I guess even a friend has to muddle through, right?
If you decide you don't want to read her blog, that's fine, just be sure to do monthly breast exams, ladies. Early detection is so important. I saw a pamphlet at the Breast Center on my last visit, I think I still have it my purse. I had two pamphlets, the first is titled, "Have You Been to a Check Your Boobies Party?" the website is http://www.checkyourboobies.org/ My one beef with the pamphlet - they have a picture of a breast on one of the pages. It is a perfect boob. Why? Why not have a picture of a normal boob? Not that my much maligned boob looks normal now - nor am I offering my boob up for a photo shoot. It has scar tissue that will hopefully fade over time but I can't complain too much, now can I? Everything was negative.
The other pamphlet is for the organization American Foundation for Suicide Prevention. I picked up the pamphlet while I was waiting at Than Brother's for my to go order of Pho (Vietnamese noodle soup). A month or so ago I heard an advertisement on the radio for Out of the Darkness Overnight, a walk to raise awareness for suicide prevention (and depression, which, obviously can lead to suicide). The Seattle walk is June 21st. I don't think I'll be up for it since my foot will be newly out of the boot at that point so I can give it a plug here - go to TheOvernight.org for more information.
When I heard the advertisement for the walk I really wanted to participate because I want to help take away the stigma that our society gives to depression. It makes people uncomfortable to talk about depression and suicide and I think if we become more comfortable talking about it more people will seek help and less people will commit suicide.
It doesn't bother me to tell people that I take an antidepressant; it bothers people to hear that I take an antidepressant. I have taken various ones over the years. Drugs help me. So does the sun. I buy full spectrum light bulbs for our light fixtures in the house so my brain is tricked into thinking its getting more sun that it really is.
When we start trying for baby #2 I'm going to have to quit taking Zoloft. I wonder how I'm going to do without it. I've been pretty good about trying to connect with other mothers who have babies close to Gavin's age in an attempt to keep me sane. I try to leave the house every day and have contact with the outside world. I will probably have to double up on those efforts when we start trying to conceive. I'm sure I could do ok without drugs by making sure I get plenty of fresh air and exposure to the sun (or the rays that manage to break through the clouds that are present October 1st - July 5th), eat a well balanced diet, get lots of exercise and meditate daily.
It is so much easier to take a pill.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. That is a horrible attitude but you know what? I know me. I know me pretty darn well. I am the kind of person who wishes her house was organized, that every paper clip had a home, where every scrap of paper was in its place, where every towel in the linen closet is folded perfectly, where every sock has its mate, all of the clothes in her closet are arranged by color then season and are all ironed and facing the same direction.
I want that but so long as it is my house and I'm in charge of it, it ain't happenin'. And you know what? I am coming to terms with that reality. I am 31 and I am just getting used to the idea that I don't have to be perfect to be happy. In my head I have always known that perfection is impossible and even if it were possible it wouldn't guarantee happiness but something, somewhere inside of me still believed that if I put my house in order then all will be well with my world.
I'm willing to settle for a clean house with a messy closet (or two). Now that I'm walking I am better able to clean the house but I'm still not 100%. Walking with this boot is not easy. I'm fooling myself into thinking that as soon as the boot comes off I will turn into Martha Stewart and start keeping house like a 'real' housewife. I bet my house would be only slightly cleaner than it is now if I was at home and didn't have Gavin to occupy my time.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Lunges
Gavin crawled this evening! He's been in the crawl position and rocking back and forth for a week or so now but today he got so worked up watching the dog that he lunged for her and actually moved forward. He didn't stop with the first lunge and continued, rock, rock, rock, lunge and he kept scooting forward. Ryan and I sat there in amazement and said, "He's crawling!"
Of course Gavin decided the best time to try out his new skills was in the middle of a diaper change. I usually manage to get the diaper off before he flips over onto his stomach. I take a number of kicks to the arms and legs as I clean him up. After he was cleaned up he rolled over and just took off after the dog. I was torn, let him crawl around and risk having him pee all over the area rug or put a diaper on and interrupt his first real crawl. I let him crawl.
Of course Gavin decided the best time to try out his new skills was in the middle of a diaper change. I usually manage to get the diaper off before he flips over onto his stomach. I take a number of kicks to the arms and legs as I clean him up. After he was cleaned up he rolled over and just took off after the dog. I was torn, let him crawl around and risk having him pee all over the area rug or put a diaper on and interrupt his first real crawl. I let him crawl.
Wednesday, June 11, 2008
Long Day and Even Longer Night
Today was exhausting. At a quarter to noon I knew I had to start getting Gavin and myself ready for our day in West Seattle that was to begin with lunch at 1:00. I went all out getting ready by pulling my hair back and applying mascara after I slathered on moisturizer with a squirt of foundation mixed in. I told you I went all out, foundation and mascara.
Our first stop was at Blue Willow Catering and Luncheonette on Oregon and California. There I met up with my former bosses and an agent from Keller Williams. I enjoyed the conversation as much as I enjoyed the unbelievable French Quiche. Their food is Delicious - its so good it gets a capital 'D'. I was slightly bummed that they didn't have their hummus on the specials board.
When Blue Willow first opened for lunch I was pregnant and ate lunch there frequently because they make a great chicken Cesar salad without using raw egg products. Since they were new and word that they served the best food in the Junction hadn't spread yet I would ask for the hummus and the owner would whip up a plate for me since they weren't too busy. I felt so special but no more. They are too busy to and I'm not pregnant - that belly and my big brown eyes and sheepish smile go a long way - now I just have to call ahead and ask if they have hummus on their menu for the day. Their hummus is worth a trip to West Seattle.
Gavin's appointment went well; he cried only briefly when the MA gave him his shot. Dr. Fiala thinks his frequent wakings at night are behavioral and not related to him being hungry because he is big enough that his last evening meal should be sufficient. She gave me some options: keep feeding him in the night or don't. She was very nice about it and told me she didn't follow her own advice with her first daughter. Tonight is the first night we are trying what she has told me in the past: let him cry for 15 minutes, go in his room, pat his tummy or put on his back and say, "It's time to sleep now, goodnight," then leave the room and repeat. She said if we do it now it will only take 3 nights but if we wait until he is 18 months it could take weeks and by that time he will know how to crawl out of his crib and will climb out and go to the door and bang his head against it until he falls asleep in front of the door.
That was all I needed to hear to realize I wanted to do sleep training now and not later. This is not the same as crying it out. At least I don't think it is because we will still go in at regular intervals to let him know we are still there until he falls asleep. We are trying to model our parenting after the attachment method that Dr. Sears teaches. My main beef with the attachment parenting is that I cannot find their advice on what do with frequent night wakings besides pick him up and feed him. I think what we are going to do starting tonight is a nice middle ground between the attachment parenting and the crying it out methodology.
Oooh, Gavin's lighting up the monitor into the red zone. I think it's time for the first visit. I'll let you know how it goes...
Not well.
I picked him up, kissed him, told him I loved him and that it was time to sleep before laying him back down. I don't know who this is going to be harder on, me or Gavin. I so just want to sit in the glider and nurse him then hold him and pat his back as he sleeps before I lay him back in his crib. That is my favorite part of the nighttime feedings; holding him against my chest and patting his back and kissing his temple as he sleeps. He is so precious; I can't stand to hear him scream.
If these last four minutes are any indication it is going to be a long, long, loud night with tears all around.
To keep my mind of my screaming son down the hall and his clear confusion as to why his beloved Mommy would deny him his midnight drink of warm milk I'll write about the rest of my day.
I parked at toward the south end of the Junction so I could stop at Georgia Blu and get a gift for my yet to be born niece in Virginia, I would say what it is but I think my sister-in-law reads this, and while in there I saw the cutest tent. I commented to the sales woman that the tent with 50's-ish printed cowboys on it was adorable. She said everyone loved it but they were having a hard time selling it. How much, I asked. $200.
Well, I think I found out why they aren't selling it. Sure it's cute but $200 for a tent that is clearly made for indoor use? C'mon.
After I left Georgia Blu I was waiting at the crosswalk on my knee scooter with Gavin in the Ergo minding my own business and out of the corner of my eye I could see two men stop the conversation they were having as they were facing each other and turn and stare at me. They may have thought they were being subtle but I could see them pointing at me and talking about me; I was only a few feet away. At one point I turned and looked at them but they didn't notice because they were too busy looking at the scooter and the baby. I was tempted to ask them if they had any questions I could answer.
My next stop was a brief one at Cupcake Royale. They serve up a mean cup of joe and I was jonesing for an Americano (one thing Blue Willow doesn't do exceptionally well is coffee). No sooner did the door close behind me than Gavin started yelling. A boy sitting with his mom and sister commented on my scooter. I heard the mom say something but didn't catch it so I turned and said, "The baby or this?" as I pointed to the scooter. He thought the scooter was pretty cool. I told him it was at first but that it wasn't so much after 6 weeks.
15 minutes are up. Time to go comfort Gavin and let him know I haven't abandoned him.
I feel like a cold hearted wench right now. What kind of mother lets her baby scream like this? Even after he falls asleep and I hear the aftermath of his crying each hiccough and sigh will be like a dagger in my heart.
He's starting to fade and it is about time for me to go back in for round three but I'm afraid if I go in now when he's fading I'll just be adding fuel to the fire. OK, it sounds like he just added a heap of coal to the fire and I won't be in .... no, now he's quiet.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Cupcake Royale. The line was longer than I wanted to wait in with a crying baby so I decided to go straight to the podiatrist's office and so I scooted my way around the block to his office. Gavin managed to fall asleep in the carrier on the ride over....
OK, Gavin time.
Well, that was just awful. I just repositioned him and fought the urge to hold him. Too bad he doesn't understand, "I love you," yet.
Good news from the doctor: I can walk! OK, I've had the ability to walk this whole time but I was given the green light so now I may walk. Woo-hoo! If using the scooter got looks before walking back to my car while pulling the scooter behind me lent itself to garnering a whole different kind of look.
In two more weeks I can shed the boot and a month after that the screws will be removed from my foot. In the meantime I have to work on the flexibility of my big toe three times a day for 10-15 minutes per session. A big toe stretching exercise doesn't sound like much but man it hurts! It feels like a knuckle that is at the painful point just before it pops - and just when my toe is at that point I'm supposed to hold it there for 30 seconds. But I will be diligent about the exercises because I want to be able to get back to normal walking ASAP.
Ahh! The screaming! It's not annoying, it's painful to listen to. That's my baby in there crying. He has big fat tears streaming down his sweet cheeks. I must be strong. He needs to sleep better for his own sake, too. Two and three hours at a time isn't healthy for him either.
Since I knew tonight was going to be difficult I rented Ratatouille and bought some stress food. Candy. The licorice is gone, now I have Nips candy. I just ate a Twinkie and cannot believe I thought those were crafted by dessert gods when I was a kid. Yuck. My memory of Twinkies is a far cry from what I just ingested.
It is almost time for my fourth visit to Gavin. After this visit I'm going to start Ratatouille. I have to watch it on the laptop since our Phillips DVR/DVD player SUCKS. We call it Ovit since we bought it after we bought a TiVo when our DVD player broke. The DVR part of it is not at all intuitive like the far superior TiVo - even Ryan can't figure it out and that's saying a lot - and the DVD part of it skips and freezes. I think it's time we get rid of it and buy a DVD player, plain and simple.
The hiccoughs started. Nope, back to crying. Silence. It has been 56 minutes since he woke up. I just peaked at him on the monitor, his head was bobbing with each hiccough and he is facing the opposite direction from when I put him in.
Ah. He's asleep. I think. I hope.
Our first stop was at Blue Willow Catering and Luncheonette on Oregon and California. There I met up with my former bosses and an agent from Keller Williams. I enjoyed the conversation as much as I enjoyed the unbelievable French Quiche. Their food is Delicious - its so good it gets a capital 'D'. I was slightly bummed that they didn't have their hummus on the specials board.
When Blue Willow first opened for lunch I was pregnant and ate lunch there frequently because they make a great chicken Cesar salad without using raw egg products. Since they were new and word that they served the best food in the Junction hadn't spread yet I would ask for the hummus and the owner would whip up a plate for me since they weren't too busy. I felt so special but no more. They are too busy to and I'm not pregnant - that belly and my big brown eyes and sheepish smile go a long way - now I just have to call ahead and ask if they have hummus on their menu for the day. Their hummus is worth a trip to West Seattle.
Gavin's appointment went well; he cried only briefly when the MA gave him his shot. Dr. Fiala thinks his frequent wakings at night are behavioral and not related to him being hungry because he is big enough that his last evening meal should be sufficient. She gave me some options: keep feeding him in the night or don't. She was very nice about it and told me she didn't follow her own advice with her first daughter. Tonight is the first night we are trying what she has told me in the past: let him cry for 15 minutes, go in his room, pat his tummy or put on his back and say, "It's time to sleep now, goodnight," then leave the room and repeat. She said if we do it now it will only take 3 nights but if we wait until he is 18 months it could take weeks and by that time he will know how to crawl out of his crib and will climb out and go to the door and bang his head against it until he falls asleep in front of the door.
That was all I needed to hear to realize I wanted to do sleep training now and not later. This is not the same as crying it out. At least I don't think it is because we will still go in at regular intervals to let him know we are still there until he falls asleep. We are trying to model our parenting after the attachment method that Dr. Sears teaches. My main beef with the attachment parenting is that I cannot find their advice on what do with frequent night wakings besides pick him up and feed him. I think what we are going to do starting tonight is a nice middle ground between the attachment parenting and the crying it out methodology.
Oooh, Gavin's lighting up the monitor into the red zone. I think it's time for the first visit. I'll let you know how it goes...
Not well.
I picked him up, kissed him, told him I loved him and that it was time to sleep before laying him back down. I don't know who this is going to be harder on, me or Gavin. I so just want to sit in the glider and nurse him then hold him and pat his back as he sleeps before I lay him back in his crib. That is my favorite part of the nighttime feedings; holding him against my chest and patting his back and kissing his temple as he sleeps. He is so precious; I can't stand to hear him scream.
If these last four minutes are any indication it is going to be a long, long, loud night with tears all around.
To keep my mind of my screaming son down the hall and his clear confusion as to why his beloved Mommy would deny him his midnight drink of warm milk I'll write about the rest of my day.
I parked at toward the south end of the Junction so I could stop at Georgia Blu and get a gift for my yet to be born niece in Virginia, I would say what it is but I think my sister-in-law reads this, and while in there I saw the cutest tent. I commented to the sales woman that the tent with 50's-ish printed cowboys on it was adorable. She said everyone loved it but they were having a hard time selling it. How much, I asked. $200.
Well, I think I found out why they aren't selling it. Sure it's cute but $200 for a tent that is clearly made for indoor use? C'mon.
After I left Georgia Blu I was waiting at the crosswalk on my knee scooter with Gavin in the Ergo minding my own business and out of the corner of my eye I could see two men stop the conversation they were having as they were facing each other and turn and stare at me. They may have thought they were being subtle but I could see them pointing at me and talking about me; I was only a few feet away. At one point I turned and looked at them but they didn't notice because they were too busy looking at the scooter and the baby. I was tempted to ask them if they had any questions I could answer.
My next stop was a brief one at Cupcake Royale. They serve up a mean cup of joe and I was jonesing for an Americano (one thing Blue Willow doesn't do exceptionally well is coffee). No sooner did the door close behind me than Gavin started yelling. A boy sitting with his mom and sister commented on my scooter. I heard the mom say something but didn't catch it so I turned and said, "The baby or this?" as I pointed to the scooter. He thought the scooter was pretty cool. I told him it was at first but that it wasn't so much after 6 weeks.
15 minutes are up. Time to go comfort Gavin and let him know I haven't abandoned him.
I feel like a cold hearted wench right now. What kind of mother lets her baby scream like this? Even after he falls asleep and I hear the aftermath of his crying each hiccough and sigh will be like a dagger in my heart.
He's starting to fade and it is about time for me to go back in for round three but I'm afraid if I go in now when he's fading I'll just be adding fuel to the fire. OK, it sounds like he just added a heap of coal to the fire and I won't be in .... no, now he's quiet.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Cupcake Royale. The line was longer than I wanted to wait in with a crying baby so I decided to go straight to the podiatrist's office and so I scooted my way around the block to his office. Gavin managed to fall asleep in the carrier on the ride over....
OK, Gavin time.
Well, that was just awful. I just repositioned him and fought the urge to hold him. Too bad he doesn't understand, "I love you," yet.
Good news from the doctor: I can walk! OK, I've had the ability to walk this whole time but I was given the green light so now I may walk. Woo-hoo! If using the scooter got looks before walking back to my car while pulling the scooter behind me lent itself to garnering a whole different kind of look.
In two more weeks I can shed the boot and a month after that the screws will be removed from my foot. In the meantime I have to work on the flexibility of my big toe three times a day for 10-15 minutes per session. A big toe stretching exercise doesn't sound like much but man it hurts! It feels like a knuckle that is at the painful point just before it pops - and just when my toe is at that point I'm supposed to hold it there for 30 seconds. But I will be diligent about the exercises because I want to be able to get back to normal walking ASAP.
Ahh! The screaming! It's not annoying, it's painful to listen to. That's my baby in there crying. He has big fat tears streaming down his sweet cheeks. I must be strong. He needs to sleep better for his own sake, too. Two and three hours at a time isn't healthy for him either.
Since I knew tonight was going to be difficult I rented Ratatouille and bought some stress food. Candy. The licorice is gone, now I have Nips candy. I just ate a Twinkie and cannot believe I thought those were crafted by dessert gods when I was a kid. Yuck. My memory of Twinkies is a far cry from what I just ingested.
It is almost time for my fourth visit to Gavin. After this visit I'm going to start Ratatouille. I have to watch it on the laptop since our Phillips DVR/DVD player SUCKS. We call it Ovit since we bought it after we bought a TiVo when our DVD player broke. The DVR part of it is not at all intuitive like the far superior TiVo - even Ryan can't figure it out and that's saying a lot - and the DVD part of it skips and freezes. I think it's time we get rid of it and buy a DVD player, plain and simple.
The hiccoughs started. Nope, back to crying. Silence. It has been 56 minutes since he woke up. I just peaked at him on the monitor, his head was bobbing with each hiccough and he is facing the opposite direction from when I put him in.
Ah. He's asleep. I think. I hope.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Milestone?
Gavin may or may not be crawling. He is doing something that is movement that resembles crawling but Ryan and I cannot agree on what that movement should be called. I think its crawling because he is definitely moving from a fixed point with purpose toward another point. Granted the movement is slow and the distance covered is an inch or two but it is still movement. If he can't get to the object he wants he will find something closer and roll over and pivot until he gets to something, anything, he can try to put in his mouth or grab, like, say, a fistful of dog hair or a cat's tail.
The is he crawling or not question reminds me of the Is-it-gas-or-a-smile question. Ryan and I had asked ourselves that a lot when Gavin was a few weeks old. With every facial grimace that could remotely resemble a grin we would exclaim, "He smiled! Did he? Was it a smile or gas?" Of course Gavin settled that question long ago with his big toothless, open mouth smiles - now they are big, open mouth two bottom teeth smiles which are often accompanied by squeals and screams.
Now that he is doing this thing that is kind of crawling we are doing the same thing but this time we know it is not gas. He still has gas but nothing that is propelling him across the carpet.
Watch out!
I wonder throughout the day if Gavin gets bored. We have three 'stations' of play in the living room. On the floor with a pile of blocks, stacking rings, rattles and a few plush toys then there is the exersaucer and the Johnny Jump Up. We go from station to station after naps and eating. I forgot a station: my lap. We sit and read books or sing songs or try to pet the dog with gentle strokes. Try is the operative word. He's going to think the label that goes with dog is 'gentle' instead of 'dog'.
Now that Gavin is interested in the animals in the house I think it is time to take him to the zoo. I don't know who will be more excited about the trip, me or him. I haven't been to the local zoo and I've been in Seattle almost 7 years. When we go I'm going to buy the yearly pass because I bet it won't be 7 years between visits.
Before we can go to the zoo I need to be released from this stupid boot. Recovery was only supposed to be 4-6 weeks. I don't recall being told that I would be in this boot for any period longer than 6 weeks. Of course I'm not going to take it off before the doctor tells me I can and I understand that the healing process doesn't always follow the prescribed plan but I wish it would!
Tomorrow I will see the podiatrist and present my scrawny shell of a leg to him so he can poke and prod it to see where my pain level is at. It usually goes something like this (imagine him running a toothpick across my foot or twisting, pulling and poking it):
Dr.: Tell me when it hurts
Me: ok... nope, nope, eh, a little, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!
Dr.: hm (with a slight look of concern on his face).
Uh oh. Gavin just cried. Maybe he'll go back to sleep although I doubt it since he's been stirring for the last five or so minutes. He's only been asleep for 3 hours. Right on schedule. Last night he woke up 4 times. FOUR TIMES. Ryan has been great though because after the four a.m. waking he can't go back to sleep so if Gavin doesn't go back to sleep after I nurse him Ryan will take the little guy with him out into the living room.
I'm not the only one with a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Gavin is going to see his doctor as well. He's going to get checked out a bit and maybe we will figure out why he quit sleeping through the night oh so very long ago. He's also going to get a shot, which one I don't know off the top of my head.
Next month he is going to have an ultrasound on his kidneys and a VCUG. I don't remember what VCUG stands for but it is a test where they measure the volume of the bladder; if I remember correctly they measure it full and after it has been emptied. I'm not quite sure how they do that with an infant who has no control over his bladder, though.
His doctor ordered these tests because he had a bladder infection a couple of weeks ago. She was baffled as to why he would have a bladder infection - I asked and she told me that him being uncircumcised only slightly increases his chances of getting such an infection and she told me (without me asking) that this infection is no reason to have him circumcised. She thinks the tests are going to come back negative but is doing them to be safe since it is unusual for an infant, especially a boy, to get a bladder infection.
He did go back to sleep! Woo-hoo!!!
Tomorrow I'm also picking up my new glasses! I've had my current pair of glasses at least 7 years and it's been 6 years since my last eye exam. I don't remember if I posted on this or not but my eyesight has improved a little. The optometrist thinks its because I'm not sitting in front of a computer screen all day long anymore.
I know a few of you who read this (Crina) would like to see a picture of me in the new glasses. I'm going to beat you to the request. No. Sorry. I cannot promise to take a picture and upload it or e-mail it. Look, it took me nearly 8 months to upload pictures of Gavin and distribute them. We should be heading to the 'Couv soon (and by soon I mean maybe this summer) and we can meet up then and you can see them in person. We haven't been to Vancouver since Christmas! I need to make the rounds the next time we are down there and introduce Gavin to all of the wonderful ladies who attended my baby shower.
Now when I think of my baby shower I think of my friend Crina's baby shower which was a couple of months before mine. Her mom made Romanian cabbage rolls for me. Yum!!! I've been craving them again. I devoured the cabbage rolls her mom sent home with me within a week. If you google Romanian cabbage rolls a lot of recipes pop up; I'm going to have to ask Crina's mom which recipe most closely resembles hers.
If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wow, April's nuts for writing about cabbage rolls. Who really cares?" then you my friend, have never had a Romanian cabbage roll for if you had you too would be writing of the deliciousness that is contained within the cabbage leaf - stuffed with pork and beef and spices and rice. They are nothing like the tomato sauce cabbage rolls of my youth (sorry, mom) - these contain far less cabbage and a lot more meat. Can't go wrong with pork - unless you are Jewish, or Muslim, or... what other religions disallow the consumption of the delicious pig? Eh. I'm so glad the apostle Paul had that dream... wait, was it Peter? The dream where God told him to not call unclean what he has made? The dream that gave the green light on pork. I suppose I could just google it (my bible is in the bedroom and I don't want to wake Ryan). It is past my bedtime but I don't want to go to bed because I know the second I get to that comfy sleepy dreamland place Gavin is going to wake up.
Besides, I should take a bath tonight because tomorrow is going to be a full day and I probably won't get a chance to take a bath tomorrow. I will have to choose between a nap and a bath and sleep usually wins out but who wants to go to the doctor all dirty? Fooey. I'll take a bath tonight since it is easier to stay awake now then to wake up early tomorrow to take a bath while Ryan is still home.
The is he crawling or not question reminds me of the Is-it-gas-or-a-smile question. Ryan and I had asked ourselves that a lot when Gavin was a few weeks old. With every facial grimace that could remotely resemble a grin we would exclaim, "He smiled! Did he? Was it a smile or gas?" Of course Gavin settled that question long ago with his big toothless, open mouth smiles - now they are big, open mouth two bottom teeth smiles which are often accompanied by squeals and screams.
Now that he is doing this thing that is kind of crawling we are doing the same thing but this time we know it is not gas. He still has gas but nothing that is propelling him across the carpet.
Watch out!
I wonder throughout the day if Gavin gets bored. We have three 'stations' of play in the living room. On the floor with a pile of blocks, stacking rings, rattles and a few plush toys then there is the exersaucer and the Johnny Jump Up. We go from station to station after naps and eating. I forgot a station: my lap. We sit and read books or sing songs or try to pet the dog with gentle strokes. Try is the operative word. He's going to think the label that goes with dog is 'gentle' instead of 'dog'.
Now that Gavin is interested in the animals in the house I think it is time to take him to the zoo. I don't know who will be more excited about the trip, me or him. I haven't been to the local zoo and I've been in Seattle almost 7 years. When we go I'm going to buy the yearly pass because I bet it won't be 7 years between visits.
Before we can go to the zoo I need to be released from this stupid boot. Recovery was only supposed to be 4-6 weeks. I don't recall being told that I would be in this boot for any period longer than 6 weeks. Of course I'm not going to take it off before the doctor tells me I can and I understand that the healing process doesn't always follow the prescribed plan but I wish it would!
Tomorrow I will see the podiatrist and present my scrawny shell of a leg to him so he can poke and prod it to see where my pain level is at. It usually goes something like this (imagine him running a toothpick across my foot or twisting, pulling and poking it):
Dr.: Tell me when it hurts
Me: ok... nope, nope, eh, a little, ow, ow, ow, ow, OW!
Dr.: hm (with a slight look of concern on his face).
Uh oh. Gavin just cried. Maybe he'll go back to sleep although I doubt it since he's been stirring for the last five or so minutes. He's only been asleep for 3 hours. Right on schedule. Last night he woke up 4 times. FOUR TIMES. Ryan has been great though because after the four a.m. waking he can't go back to sleep so if Gavin doesn't go back to sleep after I nurse him Ryan will take the little guy with him out into the living room.
I'm not the only one with a doctor's appointment tomorrow. Gavin is going to see his doctor as well. He's going to get checked out a bit and maybe we will figure out why he quit sleeping through the night oh so very long ago. He's also going to get a shot, which one I don't know off the top of my head.
Next month he is going to have an ultrasound on his kidneys and a VCUG. I don't remember what VCUG stands for but it is a test where they measure the volume of the bladder; if I remember correctly they measure it full and after it has been emptied. I'm not quite sure how they do that with an infant who has no control over his bladder, though.
His doctor ordered these tests because he had a bladder infection a couple of weeks ago. She was baffled as to why he would have a bladder infection - I asked and she told me that him being uncircumcised only slightly increases his chances of getting such an infection and she told me (without me asking) that this infection is no reason to have him circumcised. She thinks the tests are going to come back negative but is doing them to be safe since it is unusual for an infant, especially a boy, to get a bladder infection.
He did go back to sleep! Woo-hoo!!!
Tomorrow I'm also picking up my new glasses! I've had my current pair of glasses at least 7 years and it's been 6 years since my last eye exam. I don't remember if I posted on this or not but my eyesight has improved a little. The optometrist thinks its because I'm not sitting in front of a computer screen all day long anymore.
I know a few of you who read this (Crina) would like to see a picture of me in the new glasses. I'm going to beat you to the request. No. Sorry. I cannot promise to take a picture and upload it or e-mail it. Look, it took me nearly 8 months to upload pictures of Gavin and distribute them. We should be heading to the 'Couv soon (and by soon I mean maybe this summer) and we can meet up then and you can see them in person. We haven't been to Vancouver since Christmas! I need to make the rounds the next time we are down there and introduce Gavin to all of the wonderful ladies who attended my baby shower.
Now when I think of my baby shower I think of my friend Crina's baby shower which was a couple of months before mine. Her mom made Romanian cabbage rolls for me. Yum!!! I've been craving them again. I devoured the cabbage rolls her mom sent home with me within a week. If you google Romanian cabbage rolls a lot of recipes pop up; I'm going to have to ask Crina's mom which recipe most closely resembles hers.
If you are reading this and thinking to yourself, "Wow, April's nuts for writing about cabbage rolls. Who really cares?" then you my friend, have never had a Romanian cabbage roll for if you had you too would be writing of the deliciousness that is contained within the cabbage leaf - stuffed with pork and beef and spices and rice. They are nothing like the tomato sauce cabbage rolls of my youth (sorry, mom) - these contain far less cabbage and a lot more meat. Can't go wrong with pork - unless you are Jewish, or Muslim, or... what other religions disallow the consumption of the delicious pig? Eh. I'm so glad the apostle Paul had that dream... wait, was it Peter? The dream where God told him to not call unclean what he has made? The dream that gave the green light on pork. I suppose I could just google it (my bible is in the bedroom and I don't want to wake Ryan). It is past my bedtime but I don't want to go to bed because I know the second I get to that comfy sleepy dreamland place Gavin is going to wake up.
Besides, I should take a bath tonight because tomorrow is going to be a full day and I probably won't get a chance to take a bath tomorrow. I will have to choose between a nap and a bath and sleep usually wins out but who wants to go to the doctor all dirty? Fooey. I'll take a bath tonight since it is easier to stay awake now then to wake up early tomorrow to take a bath while Ryan is still home.
Thursday, June 05, 2008
Demoted
I reached full weight bearing status on Monday! I had freedom to walk around! But with that freedom to walk about came pain. I called the podiatrist to see how much I could walk and if there should be any pain with walking. The person who was taking my message when I called asked me, in response to my question of how much I could walk, "How much walking are you going to do?" Me: "That's my question. How much can I walk?"
I waited for a call back but after 24 hours I called again. The nurse vaguely remembered something about me calling. They told me to come in to see the doc the next day and in the mean time I should be non-weight bearing. Of course they told me this while I was in my car on my way to pick out new glasses with a girlfriend.
There shouldn't be pain at this point when I walk and parts of my foot are numb is caused by the straps on the top of the boot being tight. When the straps are loose my foot feels better because here is less numbness and tingling but the straps are supposed to be tight when you walk in the boot. So the doc demoted me to half weight bearing which means I'm back on the crutches and using the scooter. Which means I'm confined to the house again during the day.
Hopefully he will have some better news for me when I see him next week because this is week six of the 4-6 week recovery period. I was fully expecting to be walking by now, and not in this huge boot. Boo-hoo for me.
I waited for a call back but after 24 hours I called again. The nurse vaguely remembered something about me calling. They told me to come in to see the doc the next day and in the mean time I should be non-weight bearing. Of course they told me this while I was in my car on my way to pick out new glasses with a girlfriend.
There shouldn't be pain at this point when I walk and parts of my foot are numb is caused by the straps on the top of the boot being tight. When the straps are loose my foot feels better because here is less numbness and tingling but the straps are supposed to be tight when you walk in the boot. So the doc demoted me to half weight bearing which means I'm back on the crutches and using the scooter. Which means I'm confined to the house again during the day.
Hopefully he will have some better news for me when I see him next week because this is week six of the 4-6 week recovery period. I was fully expecting to be walking by now, and not in this huge boot. Boo-hoo for me.
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
S**T Happens
A friend recently had a post on her blog titled Spit Happens about her baby. This one is about the pooh, and I ain't talkin' of the Winnie variety.
Oh the wonderful places one can poo. One can poo in one's diaper. One can poo while taking a bath, while riding in the car, while eating dinner (or breakfast or lunch for that matter). But where is the best place of all to poo? The car, of course.
You gotta love babies, they are pretty transparent. Red face? Flared nostrils? Grunting? All signs are a go for a poo job.
This afternoon I picked up Ryan from work and we headed to Renton to buy a crib from Ikea and to kill two birds with one stone Ryan stopped by an office of some contractors he just worked with to hand out his business cards and spread the word that he's on his own now and available for hire...
So, Gavin and I waited in the car. The sun was shining and the wind blowing so I opened a door and we enjoyed the sunshine and breeze until a brazen bee charged me. The menacing thing flew right at me as I sat there trapped - to leave the car meant going past the bee that was blocking my exit. I threw my jacket at it but it was undeterred, it flew back and sat on the door jamb. This time he left enough room for me to get by, but just enough. I hopped out of the car and thought of slamming the door shut and squishing the bee but thought better of it. What if the bee flew inside the car before the door shut? It would be bee vs. baby and I think it would be a lose lose situation since Gavin would try eating the bee if he could get his hands on it. The bee made the situation easy, it flew away.
Gavin was getting fussy (red face, flared nostrils, grunting) so I took him out of his car seat. It was at that time I heard an explosion only rivaled by Mt. St. Helen's 28 years ago. This called for an immediate diaper change so I grabbed the diaper bag.
Uh-oh.
No wipes.
No changing pad.
I called Ryan and asked him to bring some wet paper towels with him when he returned to the car.
I laid my windbreaker on top of the blanket we keep in the car for the dog to lie on in the cargo area and laid Gavin on top of that. It was at that time I noticed my hand was wet. I sat Gavin up and peered over his back to see.... poo. Lots and lots of poo.
Apparently when I sat him down it forced everything up and out of his diaper. It was on his shirt, his pants and my jacket.
I cleaned him up the best I could and when Ryan came out we had a semi-clean naked baby in the back of the in the middle of the parking lot. Good times. I'm glad it was warm out. So is Gavin.
Fortunately we did have a change of clothes for the little guy and fortunately for me there were bathrooms I could use to scrub my hands. Don't want poopy hands touching baby furniture at Ikea, now do we?
******
We found a crib we could live with at Ikea. It was pretty simple, white, converts to a toddler bed. Great. What we couldn't find was the crib in the warehouse area. It was out of stock but coming in next week sometime. Lame.
We want a crib NOW not next week. We want Gavin sleeping in his own room NOW not next week so our next stop was Babies 'R Us. Ryan found a beautiful crib by Babi Italia for only $229. That is a steal for a beautiful crib by a good manufacturer. The only bummer was that we left our 15% off coupon at home and I would have to go back the next day and buy it. A helpful sales associate was trying to figure out a way we could take it home today and bring the coupon in later for a refund of the price difference. It was while she was doing this she looked the crib up and saw that it was out of stock. It was out of stock in the entire Puget Sound region and there was no indication of when the next shipment was going to come in!!!
We returned home very dejected. I got back on Craigslist to look for cribs. My main beef with cribs off Craigslist is that you have to ask each and every person for more information about their cribs because the post never gives all of the information you need, like year it was bought, manufacturer and model. The basics to see if it has been recalled.
I did find a lovely crib, however. It was recalled but the replacement parts have been put on it and it is safe. I have an e-mail out to the owner telling her I want to buy it tomorrow. Hopefully she will call me and we can get the crib and be done with all of this.
Someone lent us their crib but it's missing some parts and is going to take a couple of weeks to have the parts shipped to us so we decided to bite the bullet and just pony up for a crib. Now Ryan has to disassemble the crib as far as he was able to get and put in the basement for my friend to pick up and we have to return the cradle to my father-in-law who built it (it goes to each grandchild to use) so we can have room for the new crib. The cradle is great but Gavin only slept in it for about a month before he started sleeping in the swing then our bed. That little dude has gone from cradle to swing to co-sleeper to our bed to pack 'n play. The crib will be the sixth stop in sleeping arrangements for him.
And now before I shower and go to bed I have to go finish the applesauce that I started yesterday for my moms group. We all are making something to share and I volunteered to make applesauce. All I have to do now is puree the lumpy apples I cooked last night in the leaky blender we have been thinking about getting rid of for a couple of years now.
I'm so tired, the keys on the keyboard are getting harder and harder to press down on. I need to go to bed earlier and Gavin needs to stop waking up every two hours. Little turkey.
Oh the wonderful places one can poo. One can poo in one's diaper. One can poo while taking a bath, while riding in the car, while eating dinner (or breakfast or lunch for that matter). But where is the best place of all to poo? The car, of course.
You gotta love babies, they are pretty transparent. Red face? Flared nostrils? Grunting? All signs are a go for a poo job.
This afternoon I picked up Ryan from work and we headed to Renton to buy a crib from Ikea and to kill two birds with one stone Ryan stopped by an office of some contractors he just worked with to hand out his business cards and spread the word that he's on his own now and available for hire...
So, Gavin and I waited in the car. The sun was shining and the wind blowing so I opened a door and we enjoyed the sunshine and breeze until a brazen bee charged me. The menacing thing flew right at me as I sat there trapped - to leave the car meant going past the bee that was blocking my exit. I threw my jacket at it but it was undeterred, it flew back and sat on the door jamb. This time he left enough room for me to get by, but just enough. I hopped out of the car and thought of slamming the door shut and squishing the bee but thought better of it. What if the bee flew inside the car before the door shut? It would be bee vs. baby and I think it would be a lose lose situation since Gavin would try eating the bee if he could get his hands on it. The bee made the situation easy, it flew away.
Gavin was getting fussy (red face, flared nostrils, grunting) so I took him out of his car seat. It was at that time I heard an explosion only rivaled by Mt. St. Helen's 28 years ago. This called for an immediate diaper change so I grabbed the diaper bag.
Uh-oh.
No wipes.
No changing pad.
I called Ryan and asked him to bring some wet paper towels with him when he returned to the car.
I laid my windbreaker on top of the blanket we keep in the car for the dog to lie on in the cargo area and laid Gavin on top of that. It was at that time I noticed my hand was wet. I sat Gavin up and peered over his back to see.... poo. Lots and lots of poo.
Apparently when I sat him down it forced everything up and out of his diaper. It was on his shirt, his pants and my jacket.
I cleaned him up the best I could and when Ryan came out we had a semi-clean naked baby in the back of the in the middle of the parking lot. Good times. I'm glad it was warm out. So is Gavin.
Fortunately we did have a change of clothes for the little guy and fortunately for me there were bathrooms I could use to scrub my hands. Don't want poopy hands touching baby furniture at Ikea, now do we?
******
We found a crib we could live with at Ikea. It was pretty simple, white, converts to a toddler bed. Great. What we couldn't find was the crib in the warehouse area. It was out of stock but coming in next week sometime. Lame.
We want a crib NOW not next week. We want Gavin sleeping in his own room NOW not next week so our next stop was Babies 'R Us. Ryan found a beautiful crib by Babi Italia for only $229. That is a steal for a beautiful crib by a good manufacturer. The only bummer was that we left our 15% off coupon at home and I would have to go back the next day and buy it. A helpful sales associate was trying to figure out a way we could take it home today and bring the coupon in later for a refund of the price difference. It was while she was doing this she looked the crib up and saw that it was out of stock. It was out of stock in the entire Puget Sound region and there was no indication of when the next shipment was going to come in!!!
We returned home very dejected. I got back on Craigslist to look for cribs. My main beef with cribs off Craigslist is that you have to ask each and every person for more information about their cribs because the post never gives all of the information you need, like year it was bought, manufacturer and model. The basics to see if it has been recalled.
I did find a lovely crib, however. It was recalled but the replacement parts have been put on it and it is safe. I have an e-mail out to the owner telling her I want to buy it tomorrow. Hopefully she will call me and we can get the crib and be done with all of this.
Someone lent us their crib but it's missing some parts and is going to take a couple of weeks to have the parts shipped to us so we decided to bite the bullet and just pony up for a crib. Now Ryan has to disassemble the crib as far as he was able to get and put in the basement for my friend to pick up and we have to return the cradle to my father-in-law who built it (it goes to each grandchild to use) so we can have room for the new crib. The cradle is great but Gavin only slept in it for about a month before he started sleeping in the swing then our bed. That little dude has gone from cradle to swing to co-sleeper to our bed to pack 'n play. The crib will be the sixth stop in sleeping arrangements for him.
And now before I shower and go to bed I have to go finish the applesauce that I started yesterday for my moms group. We all are making something to share and I volunteered to make applesauce. All I have to do now is puree the lumpy apples I cooked last night in the leaky blender we have been thinking about getting rid of for a couple of years now.
I'm so tired, the keys on the keyboard are getting harder and harder to press down on. I need to go to bed earlier and Gavin needs to stop waking up every two hours. Little turkey.
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