Today was exhausting. At a quarter to noon I knew I had to start getting Gavin and myself ready for our day in West Seattle that was to begin with lunch at 1:00. I went all out getting ready by pulling my hair back and applying mascara after I slathered on moisturizer with a squirt of foundation mixed in. I told you I went all out, foundation and mascara.
Our first stop was at Blue Willow Catering and Luncheonette on Oregon and California. There I met up with my former bosses and an agent from Keller Williams. I enjoyed the conversation as much as I enjoyed the unbelievable French Quiche. Their food is Delicious - its so good it gets a capital 'D'. I was slightly bummed that they didn't have their hummus on the specials board.
When Blue Willow first opened for lunch I was pregnant and ate lunch there frequently because they make a great chicken Cesar salad without using raw egg products. Since they were new and word that they served the best food in the Junction hadn't spread yet I would ask for the hummus and the owner would whip up a plate for me since they weren't too busy. I felt so special but no more. They are too busy to and I'm not pregnant - that belly and my big brown eyes and sheepish smile go a long way - now I just have to call ahead and ask if they have hummus on their menu for the day. Their hummus is worth a trip to West Seattle.
Gavin's appointment went well; he cried only briefly when the MA gave him his shot. Dr. Fiala thinks his frequent wakings at night are behavioral and not related to him being hungry because he is big enough that his last evening meal should be sufficient. She gave me some options: keep feeding him in the night or don't. She was very nice about it and told me she didn't follow her own advice with her first daughter. Tonight is the first night we are trying what she has told me in the past: let him cry for 15 minutes, go in his room, pat his tummy or put on his back and say, "It's time to sleep now, goodnight," then leave the room and repeat. She said if we do it now it will only take 3 nights but if we wait until he is 18 months it could take weeks and by that time he will know how to crawl out of his crib and will climb out and go to the door and bang his head against it until he falls asleep in front of the door.
That was all I needed to hear to realize I wanted to do sleep training now and not later. This is not the same as crying it out. At least I don't think it is because we will still go in at regular intervals to let him know we are still there until he falls asleep. We are trying to model our parenting after the attachment method that Dr. Sears teaches. My main beef with the attachment parenting is that I cannot find their advice on what do with frequent night wakings besides pick him up and feed him. I think what we are going to do starting tonight is a nice middle ground between the attachment parenting and the crying it out methodology.
Oooh, Gavin's lighting up the monitor into the red zone. I think it's time for the first visit. I'll let you know how it goes...
Not well.
I picked him up, kissed him, told him I loved him and that it was time to sleep before laying him back down. I don't know who this is going to be harder on, me or Gavin. I so just want to sit in the glider and nurse him then hold him and pat his back as he sleeps before I lay him back in his crib. That is my favorite part of the nighttime feedings; holding him against my chest and patting his back and kissing his temple as he sleeps. He is so precious; I can't stand to hear him scream.
If these last four minutes are any indication it is going to be a long, long, loud night with tears all around.
To keep my mind of my screaming son down the hall and his clear confusion as to why his beloved Mommy would deny him his midnight drink of warm milk I'll write about the rest of my day.
I parked at toward the south end of the Junction so I could stop at Georgia Blu and get a gift for my yet to be born niece in Virginia, I would say what it is but I think my sister-in-law reads this, and while in there I saw the cutest tent. I commented to the sales woman that the tent with 50's-ish printed cowboys on it was adorable. She said everyone loved it but they were having a hard time selling it. How much, I asked. $200.
Well, I think I found out why they aren't selling it. Sure it's cute but $200 for a tent that is clearly made for indoor use? C'mon.
After I left Georgia Blu I was waiting at the crosswalk on my knee scooter with Gavin in the Ergo minding my own business and out of the corner of my eye I could see two men stop the conversation they were having as they were facing each other and turn and stare at me. They may have thought they were being subtle but I could see them pointing at me and talking about me; I was only a few feet away. At one point I turned and looked at them but they didn't notice because they were too busy looking at the scooter and the baby. I was tempted to ask them if they had any questions I could answer.
My next stop was a brief one at Cupcake Royale. They serve up a mean cup of joe and I was jonesing for an Americano (one thing Blue Willow doesn't do exceptionally well is coffee). No sooner did the door close behind me than Gavin started yelling. A boy sitting with his mom and sister commented on my scooter. I heard the mom say something but didn't catch it so I turned and said, "The baby or this?" as I pointed to the scooter. He thought the scooter was pretty cool. I told him it was at first but that it wasn't so much after 6 weeks.
15 minutes are up. Time to go comfort Gavin and let him know I haven't abandoned him.
I feel like a cold hearted wench right now. What kind of mother lets her baby scream like this? Even after he falls asleep and I hear the aftermath of his crying each hiccough and sigh will be like a dagger in my heart.
He's starting to fade and it is about time for me to go back in for round three but I'm afraid if I go in now when he's fading I'll just be adding fuel to the fire. OK, it sounds like he just added a heap of coal to the fire and I won't be in .... no, now he's quiet.
Where was I? Ah, yes. Cupcake Royale. The line was longer than I wanted to wait in with a crying baby so I decided to go straight to the podiatrist's office and so I scooted my way around the block to his office. Gavin managed to fall asleep in the carrier on the ride over....
OK, Gavin time.
Well, that was just awful. I just repositioned him and fought the urge to hold him. Too bad he doesn't understand, "I love you," yet.
Good news from the doctor: I can walk! OK, I've had the ability to walk this whole time but I was given the green light so now I may walk. Woo-hoo! If using the scooter got looks before walking back to my car while pulling the scooter behind me lent itself to garnering a whole different kind of look.
In two more weeks I can shed the boot and a month after that the screws will be removed from my foot. In the meantime I have to work on the flexibility of my big toe three times a day for 10-15 minutes per session. A big toe stretching exercise doesn't sound like much but man it hurts! It feels like a knuckle that is at the painful point just before it pops - and just when my toe is at that point I'm supposed to hold it there for 30 seconds. But I will be diligent about the exercises because I want to be able to get back to normal walking ASAP.
Ahh! The screaming! It's not annoying, it's painful to listen to. That's my baby in there crying. He has big fat tears streaming down his sweet cheeks. I must be strong. He needs to sleep better for his own sake, too. Two and three hours at a time isn't healthy for him either.
Since I knew tonight was going to be difficult I rented Ratatouille and bought some stress food. Candy. The licorice is gone, now I have Nips candy. I just ate a Twinkie and cannot believe I thought those were crafted by dessert gods when I was a kid. Yuck. My memory of Twinkies is a far cry from what I just ingested.
It is almost time for my fourth visit to Gavin. After this visit I'm going to start Ratatouille. I have to watch it on the laptop since our Phillips DVR/DVD player SUCKS. We call it Ovit since we bought it after we bought a TiVo when our DVD player broke. The DVR part of it is not at all intuitive like the far superior TiVo - even Ryan can't figure it out and that's saying a lot - and the DVD part of it skips and freezes. I think it's time we get rid of it and buy a DVD player, plain and simple.
The hiccoughs started. Nope, back to crying. Silence. It has been 56 minutes since he woke up. I just peaked at him on the monitor, his head was bobbing with each hiccough and he is facing the opposite direction from when I put him in.
Ah. He's asleep. I think. I hope.
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