I caught a name that doesn't pop up in my feed very often. Meg McKennon. It was her sister's post that Meg was tagged in. I sat up. No! This can't be real. Meg died this weekend. How? No!
I read her sister's post. Then I read it again. I went to Meg's page and there was an ex of an ex with whom she was friends posting how much she was loved and going to be missed.
The years she was my team leader and boss and then friend came rushing back to me. I think the last time I saw her was at the now defunct Cupcake to a Tea with Sugar cafe. She started her own company, Dwellings, and it was doing well. Or was the last time I saw her at Bud's funeral? Or was it JB's funeral?
Meg was such a light. Writing about her in the past tense is kind of surreal. She is a light. She is funny. She is loving. She is protective. She is. She is. She is.
But she's not. She's gone. She was so young, too.
All last night and this morning I have been thinking about her. She was unlike any boss I've ever known.
She was the most inappropriate boss. Like ever. In the best possible way. And the most encouraging. She believed in me. I didn't always believe in me but she saw through my insecurities and had faith in me.
I'm just going to ramble on now with my memories of Meg, Meggers - NOT Megan - McKennon.
When I told her I was going to send my license back to the state because I was not a good enough salesperson to make a go of real estate she said, "No. Give it a little more time." When I told her that I didn't have more time to give she said,"Wait. We'll find you a job here. I'll make one up if I have to."
So, I became the receptionist. I told her I would take the job but only if my official title would not be "Director of First Impressions". Gag. Really, Keller Williams? That is about the worst. Sure, it's true that the smiling person in the front office is the first impression of the company many people get but it is such an awful title.
She thought I was being cheap when she would put together a coffee order and I said I wanted a short latte. She would bring me back a grande. I wasn't being cheap - I just think the short latte has the perfect ratio of espresso to milk. I told her I preferred the smaller size and she just rolled her eyes at me. One would think that would have been my job to go get the coffee but I think she loved getting out of the office.
For Christmas she gave me a thong - a bright pink thong by Hanky Panky. Those really are the best. They really are the only kind of thong to be worn. How's that for too much information? So, now when I see Hanky Panky anything I think of Meg. I think she would have laughed if I told her that. Maybe I should have told her.
She called me into her office. She was laughing hard. "April! Come here! You have to see this!" I don't remember the email but it was a totally inappropriate forward that was sexual in nature.
I don't recall how this came about but we were talking about languages and I told her I took German in high school and it was a big waste. I could have studied a more useful language. She asked me to say something in German but I was having a hard time remembering so I went to Google a phrase to make sure I got it right. Not that she would have known if it was right or wrong. I don't remember the words I entered but the I do remember the search results. They were not what I was expecting. Lots German porn came up. I shrieked and was trying to close all of the windows and erase my browser history. I told her why I was freaking out - I don't think I ever saw her laugh so hard as she did at that moment.
When I came to work the day after my step-grandfather died she sent me home. I told her we weren't that close but she sent me home anyway.
She was one of the first people I told when I was pregnant for the first time. I'm not one to wait 12 weeks to tell the people I'm close to. She was also one of the first people I told when I was no longer pregnant. She shared in my joy and in my sorrow.
One day I answered the phone in the early morning at work and it was Meg telling me she wasn't coming into the office because she wasn't feeling well. I asked her if the traffic coming from Renton was too much (she lived less than a mile from the office in West Seattle). *crickets* I knew she probably stayed over with Jeff who lived in Renton. They were trying to keep their relationship quiet and I probably wasn't supposed to know they were dating as they held the same position but in different offices. She told me later that she had me on speaker phone and that she couldn't believe I didn't hear Jeff laughing. She said she also flipped me off. I can only imagine how red her face was. She could light up a room when she blushed.
Keller Williams has a company wide gathering called Family Reunion. It was held in Las Vegas every year, maybe it still is. I assumed I would stay in Seattle and hold down the fort while everyone was gone. Nope. Meg and Christi thought I should go. I told them I was fine staying but they insisted I go and take classes. So, I went. I learned a little more about the company and a lot more about myself. And Meg. I can't share all of my memories from that trip there because, you know, what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
Just kidding. Nothing super crazy happened. Just intimate conversations that I cherish.
The house she rented was cute as a button. Adorable. Everything about it was cozy and comfortable and reflected her warmth. I don't remember anything specific about her house other than one felt at ease and comfortable in it. When she moved in with Jeff I helped her pack a little. Looking back at the house after it was emptied of everything Meg I stood there and took it all in. There was nothing special about the house. All of it's warmth and charm was gone; she is what made the place special.
Sometime after she left and I was gone from Keller Williams I learned that one of our agents, JB, died. He was a large part of the company and I knew Meg would want to know. Part of me thought she might already know but I couldn't think of who would have called her to tell her. I called her when I was without Gavin - which happened to be on a trip to the Home Depot in West Seattle. So, I wandered the store for an hour talking to Meg about JB and his sudden passing, about life and about hopes and dreams.
It was at Bud's funeral (another real estate agent) that I realized we still had a connection. We laughed and cried together. We told Estella, one of Meg's super close friends and fellow agent at KW, stories about Bud since she didn't know him that well. The three of us huddled together in the bathroom fixing smudged make up and blowing noses. Meg used the toilet while we were in there. I laughed and thought, "Well, if we weren't close before, we are now."
I think Bud's funeral was one of the last times I saw her. I think Meg understood Bud's pain. How he had a smile for everyone but that there was a sorrow just below the surface. I know Meg had pain, too. She had a smile for everyone but in quiet moments she would let me see. Her hopes. Her fears. I don't know if she knew she was showing me or if I drew it out - or if everyone can see the pain others try to hide. She didn't give words to her hurt but it was there. Maybe we all have that pain and it is through our own experiences with suffering that we are able to recognize it in others.
Or, I'm just full of it and feeling super emotional and reading more into my memories because a woman who was dear to me many years ago is gone. I could write more but I won't. Even though she is not here, the things she told me in confidence will remain locked in my heart. The things that made her blush - aside from Jeff's story - the stuff that pissed her off, the things that made her cry - will be my memories.
Everyone who met Meg was drawn to her. She had a pull and we all went to her; wanting to be special in her eyes. I hope she knew how special she was in our eyes. How so very special.
Goodbye, Meg.
