Some Call Us Crazy

People ask you shortly after your first baby is born when you want another baby. Even in the midst of sleepless nights, nap filled days, evenings full of screaming and clothes soaked in spit up we said soon. Yeah, crazy. Although I have a feeling after number two is born the question everyone will ask is, "Are you done?" I've already been told by a few people that I'm crazy for wanting more than two kids. Someone even asked me, "Why?" when I said I wanted 3-4 kids.

Baby number two is due to arrive on October 17th. I guess that makes us officially crazy for having our children two years apart. Heck, we wanted them 18 months apart but that just didn't work out. Maybe its a good thing because someone may have tried to commit us to an insane asylum.

Octobers are going to be busy in the Jahns' household. Three out of four family members birthdays are (will be) in October. Gavin and his sibling may even share a birthday since my due date is the day before Gavin's birthday - but I really doubt that will happen. My mom had all of her babies early and Gavin was nearly three weeks early so there will probably be a nice space between them. At least I hope there is because that means I won't have to be pregnant for as long. And don't even say they can be spaced apart by a couple of weeks if the baby is late. Ain't happening, folks. Two weeks early is acceptable in my book. One-time is only marginally acceptable.

Many people want to know how the first trimester is going (or by now, went). It seemed to last forever since this time around I experienced nausea - no vomiting, though! Woo-hoo. With Gavin I didn't have morning sickness and I only had an aversion to one food: Peanut Butter Puffins (a breakfast cereal). I still can't bring myself to eat them. This time I can't eat one of my favorite foods: Pho. I'm very sad about this and I hope the aversion goes away one of these days. Why can't I have an aversion to fried food or candy? The first month or so I actually lost 5 pounds so I was actually excited about that - I knew it wasn't going to be anytime before I got my appetite back and made up for lost time. And unlike last time I had a fair amount of energy but that's not saying a lot. Last time I could barely stay awake the whole day. I was good for about the first 30-60 minutes after waking but then crashed for the rest of the day - the rest of the pregnancy really.

The difference this time is I now have a toddler to entertain and keep occupied and feed and love on. It can be tiring but unlike last time when Gavin is ready for one of his marathon naps I can take a nap because I'm not working! When I was preggo with Gavin I would come home at lunch and sleep for 30 minutes before getting back in the car to go back to my catatonic state at work.

I'm starting to drag more these days and simple things like breathing seem to take a little more effort so I think its time to start taking an iron supplement. Last time I took two iron pills that were on top of the iron in my prenatal vitamin and toward the end I went on an inhaler as I had a touch of asthma. I asked my midwife if the albuterol was bad for the baby and she said it was safe for pregnancy and to remember that if I'm not getting enough oxygen the baby wasn't either.

Oh, the joys of pregnancy. The real fun should begin when the swelling does. If Gavin was a little older I could pay him to rub my feet but I'm afraid the most I will be able to do is to get him to not step on my feet.

I wonder how is going to react to my ever growing belly and my impending inability to carry him around. Hopefully I can carry him around until the very end. I like hauling my little lug on my hips - and he likes it, too. I'm also curious to see how my own heart expands to meet this new person - how can I possibly have anymore love to give? I hear all parents think that when #2 is on the way but I also hear all of them say that 'it' just happens. I wonder if it will be the same when I first look into his/her eyes for the first time.

As the nausea subsides and my belly starts poking out (it didn't have far to go) I am becoming more and more excited about meeting this new little person forming inside of me. Even Ryan is a little different this time around - maybe its because he knows what is in store is so great. Ryan is a daddy in love with his little boy. Its so sweet to watch them interact. Ryan's face takes a beating when he hoists Gavin up on his shoulders and dips Gavin backwards while holding onto his legs. Gavin shrieks with laughter and digs his fingers into whatever he can - ears, eyes, mouth. I told Ryan tonight we need to get him a helmet with handles on it for Gavin.

The biggest change is that Ryan is coming up with names for the name pool. Of course he is only offering up boy names but still - he is thinking about it. I can't complain that Ryan is only offering boy names because I'm only contributing girl names. So far he doesn't like any of my favorites. I'm not giving up, though.

Last but not least: yes we are going to find out the gender.

And now I'm off to bed but first... a snack.

The 'Couv

Gavin and I went to visit the family in Vancouver over the weekend. It's been since Christmas since I've seen them and it won't be until mid May that they are due to come up here so I figured a trip was due although I think I promised my Aunt Paulette that I would stop by and visit her in Lacey the next time I was in the area. Sorry.

Here are some pictures of our little dude from the this and last month and some pictures of Gavin with his adoring Uncle Ike and mildly tolerant cousin Matthew.

Ryan and I could not stop staring at this picture and laughing. It is so darn cute!

My nephew Matthew in one of his poses from his new martial arts class

More cuteness

Cousins sharing a moment on the couch -

Ryan's not gonna be happy when he sees this but c'mon! Baby butts are too cute!




Uncle Ike is crazy for babies -

That's water on his pants - he grabbed my water and we both got doused. The stickers are from the parade (see a couple of posts ago).

Well, well, well

A few things you should know about Gavin.

• He is unbelievably cute.
• He is more fun than a barrel of monkeys (I assume, I've never played with a barrel of monkeys). I'm certain he smells better than a barrel of monkeys.
• He has an infectious laugh
• He is a tough crowd - it takes a bit of effort to earn that infectious laugh
• He is super affectionate
• He loves books
• He loves his mommy (that's me)! I'm so lucky!
• He loves his daddy
• He loves his green blanket square that some people would call a Lovey but our household is forbidden to call it such by a certain transportation engineer (I won't name names)
• He loves books
• He likes to poke at body parts he is learning the names of - cover your eyes and pray he finds his nose after he finds your teeth
• He loves to snuggle and cuddle and to be held
• He loves it when I'm in the room
• He loves it when he is on my hip, in my arms or on my lap

Things Gavin does not like:

• Me being in a room adjacent to where he is
• Not being on my hip, in my arms or on my lap
• Me running downstairs to throw a load in the washing machine
• Me eating a meal
• Me sneaking off for a potty break - really, what isn't better with a little toddler company?
• Me washing dishes while he wants to read a "boo" (anytime of day, really)
• Me doing anything that involves not being within arms reach

So to sum up the lists. Gavin is an adorable toddler who loves to have his beloved mommy read him books at his beck and call. If I leave the house - Ryan is home mind you - there is much weeping and gnashing of teeth. When I leave the house I hear him screaming, "Mommy! Where are you going? Why are you leaving me? Why? Why? Don't you love me? Come back!"

Ryan's response to all of this is (read this with a note of contempt a bit of cattiness), "Hmpf, it must be nice to be loved."

Well. Well, well, well.

This is where I say, "Bwa ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!"

The tides have turned!

Now I say (read this with a note of triumph a lot of cattiness), "Hmpf, it must be nice to be loved." as Gavin clings to Ryan's pant legs and wails for daddy to pick him up and follows him around saying, "boo".

Bwa ha ha ha!

It is so nice to have someone else be the sun, moon and stars for an hour or two every day. It gives me great, great pleasure to see how well attached Gavin is to his daddy.

Surprise Parade

I had started a post about a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day that I had last week but something funny happened. I kind of forgot most of the terrible, horrible, no good, very bad stuff that had happened. Almost everything. The big ticket item, pun intended, was the fat speeding ticket I got for zipping down Beacon Ave/Holgate St. I was speeding. Guilty.

BUT.

It is a very steep hill. Very. During the first big snow storm this winter older kids were using it to snowboard down which I think was d-u-m-b. I would envision them hitting the sidewalk and flipping up and over the guardrail and landing on top of a car on I-5 below.

The rest of the bad stuff really wasn't that bad. It probably seemed worse because I was nabbed in a speed trap. Which, by the way, if you are going to give me a ticket, give me a ticket for speeding on 35th Ave or on the West Seattle Bridge. But a hill? I have slowed down a lot over the years but hills are hard to go slow down - I hate riding the brakes.

Today on the other hand was a great day. The morning was trying as usual. I'm super tired in the a.m. because that is me. It is rare that I jump out of bed all perky, ready to tackle the day. It doesn't help that even if/when Gavin is sleeping through the night I'm waking up at 4:30 all ready for the day. Of course I'm up then I get hungry then I eat then I wake up a little more... then at 7:00 I pass out ready for 8 hours of solid sleep. Fortunately Ryan will watch Gavin and I can sleep until he needs to catch his bus. Then I have a cup of coffee so I can stand up and not plow Gavin over in a zombie like trance. But when Gavin's nap time comes I'm awake because I had coffee to get me through the morning.

But I digress. This morning. Per usual I wanted to lie on the couch and watch Gavin play contentedly with his toys as he was when I entered the living room as Ryan headed out the door. No go. Gavin sees me and drops his toy and says, "Boo," as he heads for the basket of books. I flop on the couch, pull a blanket over me and hoist Gavin and his book up. I hold he book over my face so I can yawn and keep my eyes closed as I recite book after book. After a bit I wake up a little and liven up my storytelling.

This may not sound that trying but reading the same books all day, every day, over and over and over again will drive you nuts. We go to the library and pick out new board books but those are all memorized by the end of the day because we read them so many times. I will say that my favorite thing about reading books with Gavin is him sitting in my lap - or rather how he sits in my lap.

He brings his 'boo' to me and after handing it to me (if I don't take it when he hands it to me he will often grab my hand and turn it palm side up and shove the book in it) he turns around and scoots back a few steps and with a loud grunt sits on the floor or in my lap. If I pick him up and set him down in my lap he stands up halfway, scoots forward and plops down again with the lovely grunt.

Oh, boy. Back to this morning. It was time for a new selection of books from the library but we've picked through our neighborhood library and they are all old and boring now so I hopped on-line to see which bus we would need o take to get to the mammoth downtown library. 20 or 30 minutes later I had my answer but by that time I didn't want to take the bus and wait in the drizzle for a stinky bus. Besides, it was Saturday - there would be plenty of street parking.

Or so I thought. As we passed the tip of Pioneer Square I realized there wasn't going to be plenty of parking when I spied a marching band assembling their gear in the park. Then there was the other group of people wearing an awful lot of green. And there was someone carrying lots of cotton candy. Ah! It was the St. Patrick's Day Parade.

Parking was scarce but I did manage to score a spot kitty corner to the library - I had enough change for a 40 minute trip which seemed like just the right amount of time to chase a toddler around the library and it might even provide a few minutes to visit Chocolati on the 3rd floor (how many libraries have a coffee shop)? So cool.

We picked out new board books and lots of music CDs. Well, I picked out all of the books save one. Gavin was only interested in The Wheels on the Bus - with its clever wheels that actually go 'round and 'round so you can move it around like a car. I've already hidden the book a few times and rolled it under the couch once - there are only so many times you can sing "The Wheels on the Bus" consecutively.

Ryan joined us for lunch at Blue Water Taco grill - my first Blue Water Taco dining experience. It smelled terrific inside but I was a little disappointed in my fish taco because the employee dumped regular beans on before I could ask for black beans. I still prefer Taco del Mar fish tacos - I'm not brave enough to try the taco wagon on Rainier for an authentic taste - one of these days.

The parade started just as we sat down to eat so we got a front row seat of the festivities - until the young dudes who were eating inside took their tacos outside and parked themselves in front our window. Just as we were finishing up I felt something painfully cold hit my legs - it took a second to register that I set my glass of ice water within Gavin's reach. We got a cold bath. I wanted to cry - Gavin did cry. Ryan took Gavin out to watch the parade while I cleaned up our soggy mess.

We were able to watch the rest of the parade even with our wet clothes. I just held Gavin's wet parts to me and he was perfectly content to watch the Seafair pirates and listen to their super loud canons. The clowns came up to him, girls gave him candy, tons of Irish Setters were paraded by us and the only person he waved to was some dude watching the parade to our right.
All in all it was a pretty rinky dink parade. Maybe it was because we were at the very beginning of the parade route and the crowds with all of the energy were down at Westlake Center. Maybe it was because of the January weather in the middle of freakin' March.

Even though it was a tiny parade I wish I had my camera with me so we could have taken a picture of Gavin with the Seafair Pirates and Keystone Kopps and clowns. I saved the stickers they gave him and will put them in a scrapbook that he can one day look at and think, "What am I going to do with 20 year old stickers?" but say, 'Gee, thanks, Mom."

Levi Christopher

I don't quite know what to write about my nephew, little Levi. I never met him unless you count saying "Hi, Little Dude," through his mom's belly to him in his comfy womb.


There is a lot I can tell you about the kind of love Levi would have been surrounded by if the earth had the pleasure of hosting his life. Instead he will forgo a life filled with love, joy and of course some grief and sorrow and spend his days and nights surrounded by the all consuming love of God and in the arms of my dad, his Grandpa Doug.

Levi was "the one". We all knew it. We felt it. With each passing week our confidence and excitement grew that we would be able to meet him this summer. Levi's four other siblings at the most made it to the end of the first trimester. The problem was figured out - an occupational work hazard. The solution was to not work in that environment and Levi flourished. I talked to my little brother (Levi's dad) often and our conversations revolved around Levi and Candice - his loving mother who would lay in bed and sing songs to him in the mornings before getting up for the day. Levi was lucky to have Candice sing to him as she has a lovely voice.

I used to dread seeing my brother's name on my cell phone's caller id. It used to bring such sad news - another baby lost. After a while I could smile when I saw his name and didn't answer the phone with fear in my voice saying, "Joel, is everything ok?" This time the call came from my mom. I knew it couldn't have been good news because the call was to the home phone at 8:30 in the morning - she never calls that early as she knows Gavin and I might be sleeping. All she had to say was, "Has Joel called you?" and I knew. Levi was gone.


He was delivered on February 25th. He made it 22 weeks, over half way, before his umbilical cord got tied around his leg so tight that it cut off his blood supply. My brother said that at least they knew it was just a freak accident. I was furious with God. Why take Levi? Why? Why? Why? I've been mad at God on two occasions, when I was a little girl and my dad died and now. A girlfriend provided a measure of comfort when she said God could handle me being mad at him. That had to make me laugh a little.

These past two weeks the days have been progressively easier as I am able to shove thoughts of Levi, Joel and Candice aside after a quick prayer. I feel guilty as I don't want to think about him or the grief my brother and sister-in-law are embroiled in. The one time I can't escape thinking about my brother and SIL is at night. I lay down and fall asleep without too much trouble but at some point my dreams turn dark and my mind goes to Joel and Candice.


I've been waffling on whether or not I should write anything about this but I thought why not? Because it will make some people uncomfortable to read it? That hasn't stopped me before. I want to let the world know Levi was here even if only for a too brief period of time.

Levi was given a proper burial last Monday. My brother carried his tiny casket to his final earthly resting spot. It had a letter from his mom, one from his dad, a song my brother's friend wrote and two little stuffed toy cats my Aunt Annette made for Joel when he was a kid.

We will never forget Levi and his too short life. One day, far far from now, we will have a nice reunion where he can spend eternity with his loving mom and dad, all of his siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins and of course his grandparents. At least we know he is at peace.

As this story of Levi pops in your head in the coming days and weeks please say a prayer to bring comfort to Joel and Candice.