Sunday, October 04, 2009

Waiting in Filtered Sunlight

Gavin is just about asleep for his nap. I am unwinding in bed, waiting to be ready to sleep but it may be difficult since I had coffee at church and some Coke at lunch. It's hard to not drink caffeine somedays. Today is a someday. Last night I was up every hour because my bladder was lying to my brain saying it was full. My brain is so gullible. It just takes a baby nestling into your bladder to make a night super long and short at the same time. Then Gavin woke up screaming at 3 - darn those molars! I rushed to get him some teething gel for his gums and infant Tylenol. Poor tyke. The gel works almost instantly so after rubbing his back for a minute or two he was asleep again and I headed back to bed but the night was shot.

I went back to bed at 6 am and didn't wake up again until almost 8! I tried to keep my eyes closed so as to not let the sun completely wake me up as I shuffled to the bathroom. After another 90 minutes of sleep I sprung out of bed and ran downstairs to get the clothes out of the dried so I would have something to wear to church and to let Ryan know we were on for service today.

During service I kept thinking how nice it would be to go into labor right then and there since my midwife was there and we were surrounded by friends who could take Gavin while Heather (my midwife) drove me and Ryan to the hospital. No such luck.

I was having several painful contractions in groups throughout the day starting on Tuesday but I think I may have had one yesterday. I'm starting to lose hope of this baby coming anytime soon. I'm 38 weeks and 1 day as of today. That gives me 13 days until I'm 40 weeks. I really, really, really don't want to go two more weeks. Gavin was nearly 3 weeks early and he turned out just fine.

So that leaves me sitting here in my bedroom just waiting. Trying to enjoy some of the solitude that naps provide. My room is still clean since we just had carpet installed on Wednesday of last week. My bag for the hospital is sitting next to window. Then there is the small bassinet a friend is lending just to my right. For now it is housing my body pillow when not in use. Soon it will have a baby in it. Hopefully a baby who likes sleep. Or at least one who doesn't fight it.

As I'm sitting here in the filtered sunlight that is coming through our white curtains casting the room in a warm hue I am really hoping the baby comes in the next day or two because the weather is supposed to remain nice this week. It would be so great to bring the baby home and to take him to his first well baby check 3 days post delivery in sunny weather.

My moods do tend to change a bit with the weather - I may even go so far as to say that I suffer a bit from S.A.D. (seasonal affective disorder) which is so prevalent in the Northwest with our wet, gray, gloomy fall, winter and spring seasons and all. Maybe taking mega doses of Vitamin D will help combat the gloominess this year. I'll take all the help I can get because not seeing the sun for weeks on end can be a tad depressing. And then when you tack wet, gray and gloomy on top of sleep deprived it just seems like a recipe for disaster.

Or maybe having a toddler to chase around will be my saving grace this time around. I can't stop because I want to. No. The best I can do is enjoy his nap time with the new one and hope that the new one will want to take a nap at the same time. I'm not going to hold my breath.

Once the new one is at least 6 weeks old I can get 2 whole hours to myself at the gym. The kiddos will go to kiddie club and I will get to exercise and take a shower and dry my hair and put on make up if I so desire. What a luxury. Ooh, and if I have to pee - I can use a stall in the locker room and close the door!

That's right all of you people who do not have children: going to the bathroom with the door shut is a TREAT.

Today is looking a little more promising. I've had some weak contractions but they are lasting longer than the strong ones from a few days ago. One lasted a full minute but I could talk through it so it's probably nothing. It gives me a little hope though.

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