TMI

I was one of those people who asked a question that maybe I should not have asked and as a result got an earful for a response. Here is how the whole thing went down.

Ryan and I started going to the gym in the evenings after Ryan gets off work. After our respective work outs we pick up Gavin from childcare and head home. Lately we've been stopping at Subway for dinner since they are having a great sale right now and I have not been able to have dinner ready before going to the gym.

Ryan met the new Subway employee a couple of weeks ago and decided he liked him. I met the new guy and sure enough he was really nice. Very warm and personable and easy to talk to.
Last week he was asking questions about Gavin. We were answering questions about Gavin. Since he was so interested in our son I thought I would ask him if he had children so I could give him an opportunity to show me pictures of his kids and to brag about them if he had them.

I am sorry I asked!

Here is how our conversation played out, the only thing I can't properly convey is the AWKWARDNESS of the whole unfortunate situation.

Me, with innocent doe like expression on my face: "So, do you have kids?"

Subway man: "Yes. They are with their mother. We had a problem and she took the kids."

Me, expression on face fading to uh-oh, what have I gotten myself into expression: "Oh. I'm sorry to hear that."

Subway man: "It's OK. She went to the court and the judge gives her 85% of the time and me 15%. What is that? 15%? That is nothing. I say, 'You take 100%.' and I have not seen them in 3 years."

Me, now trying to not look disgusted and reaching for my debit card so we can get out of there: "Oh."

Subway man: "It's OK. I'm fine. I have a new life, no responsibility. My wife takes the children and pays for them; I have no responsibility. I haven't seen them in three years and that's OK."

Me, "Oh."

Subway man: "Don't feel sorry for me. I'm happy."

What I wanted to say was, "I don't feel sorry for you. I feel sorry for your kids since you abandoned them because you and your ex-wife had a falling out. You may be happy but what is the emotional toll you are inflicting on your kids?"

I left the store with a cold and empty feeling in my stomach. How can someone be so callous about abandoning their children? Does he not view his actions as abandonment? Ryan was pretty upset by the whole situation, too. He doesn't understand how he could not care about his kids.

As I write this I look at the the Wall O' Gavin that Ryan made. There are three 8"x10" black and white pictures that we took at home that he spent hours doctoring on photo shop (to remove baby acne and such) that he put in a frame we bought at Penny's when we were there for our 'formal' photo session for Gavin. Ryan put so much time and effort into lovingly displaying those photos of his son - it is such a contrast to the man at Subway.

Now for a rare moment of mushiness from me: I love my husband. He is a good man who loves his family and would do anything for us. I am very blessed to have Ryan in my life to be my partner and to help me raise Gavin and whatever other children God may give us. I am very content and thankful for all that the Lord has given to us. We are very blessed.