Can you help me? Help me, please. Please help me.
Don't worry, I don't need help of an urgent nature. I just need some insight into a matter of being rude or not as polite as one could be.
The question is regarding the use of the word "please". More specifically using the word please in a close relationship, say between a husband and a wife. Now, this husband and wife scenario is completely fictional.
When one is in a situation to need near constant help is it rude to make a request without using please? Say, to ask, "Can you bring me a glass of water? Thanks," instead of, "Can you please bring me a glass of water? Thanks."
If it was brought to the attention of the one making all of the requests that they never used please when making a request and then they started to use please sporadically is that OK? If the issue is that please is "never" used then is it acceptable to give the stink eye when please is used some of the time but not every time?
Also, let's not get into the poor grammar of the question being asked; yes, I'm being a bit of a hypocrite about my own poor grammar when I got all huffy about the who-whom sign at Barnes and Noble, but I digress as that is not the issue at hand.
Please leave a comment - all of you readers who read and are afraid to comment, now is your chance to jump in! A simple answer of, "it is acceptable/not acceptable to use please" is fine but feel free to expand on your thoughts.
Thanks. My marriage, er, I mean, some random person's marriage thanks you.
4 comments:
Since no one had the "want-to" jump in and make a comment, I will.
It is not acceptable, but it is done more often than not.
See, I thought I always say 'please' and 'thank you'. I thought I always say 'sweetheart...' or 'you are my new best friend: will you do something for me?'. I THOUGHT I made the effort to say it. So, I went straight to the source. I asked Matt how is my standing regarding those wonderful words. Well, my standing is pretty sloped downwards. He said about 30% of the time I use 'sweetheart' or I am nice asking, about 10 % of the time I use 'please' and the rest is just not using anything! I think now I am just going to count my pleases and thank yous.
I am determined to show him he is wrong one more time, and I am right again ;-) Just kidding...
The Pastor had a very bad joke at church: If there is a man in the forrest, and no woman to hear him, is he still wrong?
Crina b b bbbfgnjh b bbbbbbbbbbbbr
(that is a message from the Baby!)
I would've jumped in, but I just read your blog.
I find that I'm pretty much always the one asking for stuff (as I'm usually the one that is sick in our family). I don't use please all that often, and Matthew is completely fine with that as long as I'm asking in a nice way. Sometimes saying "please" sounds sarcastic cuz you say it just to say it; but if you just ask nicely that shows your intentions are not to be mean to that person or make them do something cuz you are lazy, but that you really need/appreciate the help.
Matthew doesn't really ask me for stuff...but I don't think it would bother me at all if he didn't say "please" or "thank you" as long as his tone of voice is one of kindness.
One more thought: I guess if one is in a lot of pain, one may not be able to having a "tone of kindness" in their voice... In that case "please" might even sounds worse. Maybe if the one doing the asking would just try to ask instead of tell it might help. But still no please needed, thank you. :)
How was the person raised? I don't think those manners are taught much anymore. ???
Please,
thank you,
excuse me,
I notice the lack of manners more than I do the use of them.
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